Just for Xeets and Giggles (03.09.24)

The week kicked off with dueling visits by the two leading presidential candidates to the U.S. border with Mexico.

Republicans and their enablers were busy making immigration the top concern for people all over America who’ve never met a migrant in their life and who are being told migrants are driving high crime rates in the “Democrat cities”—even though crime rates are actually falling.

Who knew Democratic strategist Simon Rosenberg was this funny?

Also this week, the Supreme Court came out with its decision keeping Trump on the Colorado ballot. Folks had thoughts…

Just when we were feeling down in the dumps about our centuries long democratic project, a gift from Ms. Thumbs Down on minimum wage hikes, Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, who decided Washington is too just mean to her for her to run again.

The jokes poured forth.

This was one of my favorite takes. Watch here.

Super Tuesday also was this week, and there were few surprises. Trump underperformed in the polls, Haley voters signaled deep dissatisfaction with Trump, and Joe Biden overperformed again.

But you wouldn’t know it from the headlines, which tended to tout Trump as unstoppable while focusing on Biden’s “uncommitted” opposition, even though Biden did better than Trump nearly everywhere.

Trump’s campaign was feeling muscular about it, as evidenced by campaign senior advisor Chris LaCivita’s taunts.

Trump’s recent speeches were again filled with signs that dementia is setting in, with numerous instances where he cannot complete a sentence without veering off into nonsense.

Then came the State of the Union, which is always fodder for great material for this weekly installment. Last year gave us the white fur lady, and this year, well…

She was inappropriate and broke the House rules on hats and slogans in the chamber, but that didn’t stop her. It did stop Joe Biden in his tracks, and his expression was all of us. Watch the moment here.

Another take on this now classic moment:

Marjorie Three Toes (Q-GA) wasn’t the only MAGA Republican dressed like a January 6 insurrectionist. There was also Troy Nehls (R-TX).

As the President made his way to the podium, he greeted the Supreme Court, five of whose members were present.

Vice President Kamala Harris and Speaker Mike Johnson had to sit by each other through the whole speech, on camera, behind President Biden. Body language says it all in this clip.

President Biden’s fiery, inspired and eloquent speech, paired with his comfortable, even playful sparring with the jeering Republicans, has caused some in the GOP to rethink how to attack him.

If you missed the SOTU, here is a very good summary. (Warning: strong, sassy language.)

It’s that time! This is the day when you might say to yourself, “I love this newsletter so much I’m going to become a paid supporter!” And if you’ve already contributed, thank you!

No Democratic president’s SOTU is quite complete until we’ve had a horrible Republican response. Think teleprompter-challenged Bobby Jindal, and parched, sweating and guzzling Marco Rubio.

But nothing may ever top what Sen. Katie Britt of Alabama delivered on Thursday evening.

As she began to talk, the platform formerly known as Twitter lit up. There was her weird scary smile and crocodile tears.

There was the odd setting of a kitchen for what her fellow senator, Tommy Tuberville, said was appropriate for this “housewife” they had selected.

It began to dawn on everyone watching, including Republican operatives who were losing their minds over how bad it was, that Sen. Britt was merely acting.

It drew apt comparisons…

Here’s a good side-by-side of her apparent inspiration.

That Southern white fundie baby smile though…

Folks, she’s serious about her complaints with America.

Maybe the moment was more like this?

Fans of Succession, rejoice.

Tom Arnold, again…

You might say, it was so over the top, it rang rather… fake and robotic in the end.

Then there was also the substance of her bit, which rang with irony.

(It turns out, Britt made up the story about a girl of 12 being repeatedly sexually assaulted while in the U.S. Turns out, those assaults, while horrific, happened 20 years ago, in Mexico, during the George Bush presidency.)

Closing out the Katie Britt section with this perfect soundtracking of her speech.

Shifting from the clown show to the animal show, the beluga whale is my new favorite prankster. Watch here.

Speaking of whales having a gay ol’ time…

People otter know better than to drop their phones into their territory. Video clip here.

It’s like two different cats with this before and after lol.

My cat may be named Shade but this one delivers it far better. Watch here.

Turning to human news, give this guy a medal.

Dune 2 opened this week to critical and audience raves. Still, someone noticed something.

I’m sure many are feeling this one right now.

I’m not sure when this happened, but I am all for amplifying it again. Watch this epic moment here. And you gotta stay for that *moment* we all know from the film.

Yay for guys not afraid to be fun and silly! Speaking of which, to close out this week which gave us so much unexpected humor, your weekly dad joke and bonus earworm.

You’re welcome! Have a great weekend.

Jay