Just for Xeets and Giggles (05.11.24)

The Trump trial in Manhattan proceeded this week, with Stormy Daniels taking the stand. She testified about how Trump lied to get her into a compromising position… then got into one himself in his silk pajamas on a hotel bed.

Fox host Laura Ingraham had some opinions she wanted to share, but opened herself up as well.

Trump showed once again how he is a stable genius with the best words. You can hear the clip here if you must.

That simply couldn’t go unanswered. This one was quick on the draw.

This made me giggle.

We hear less and less about Biden’s age from the media and MAGA these days. Perhaps it’s because the other guy has issues of his own.

Trump wasn’t the presidential candidate making the biggest headlines this week, if you can believe it. Things were a bit slow in the humor department until this got reported.

Before we feel too sorry for the guy (I mean, it’s not really his fault that he ate undercooked pork or feces somehow), he did use the brainworm excuse 12 years ago to try and get out of child support payments, saying under oath that his mental faculties were seriously impaired by it. So that means the worm is fair game in my book.

In his show on Wednesday, Andy Borowitz only had to say the name RFK Jr. and the entire audience started laughing. Because we all had heard by that evening. (Here’s a pic of me and Andy—if you love his humor as I do, you should check out and subscribe to his substack, The Borowitz Report.)

Okay, back to RFK Jr. You’ll have to forgive the sheer number of hilarious takes that ensued from his announcement. I’m picking from among dozens and dozens here. But let’s start with the challenge of being funnier than fact:

Can we finally stop worrying about Biden and talk about the other guys now?

And this is a fair question:

Rick Wilson, host of The Enemies List and member of The Lincoln Project, with an astute observation:

Speaking of the Lincoln Project, they found this super on-point clip:

RFK Jr.’s campaign went into crisis mode over this pretty quickly. It didn’t help.

Who created this image so quickly?

Then the memes came in hard.

The Liam Nissan account, bringing it all together for us.

Actually, this brought it full circle:

Too soon?

This clip had some colorful, satirical commentary:

TBH Gov. Kristi Noem was probably happy to have the nation talking about someone else’s crazy stories.

Speaking of Noem, her newest excuse about what she described in her book is…she didn’t review the text? Huh.

So this is the midway point, after I hope you have smiled and laughed considerably, where I nudge you gently to consider upgrading your subscription to a paid one to support my work!

I’m still on Kristi Noem, BTW. It wasn’t enough to talk about shooting the family pup Cricket and throwing her in a gravel pit. She also had to lie about (checks notes) meeting the leader of North Korea. Yeah, that never happened.

The Noem / Trump crossover jokes have now made it to store signs.

This week saw other funny things, such as Marjorie Taylor Greene getting booed for raising her motion to vacate in an effort to depose yet another GOP House Speaker. They’ve begun to shorthand this on cable news:

There was this take…

Democrats voted to support Johnson as a reward for letting the Democrats pass all the laws they want to pass, including the budget and the foreign aid bills. But let’s not pretend Johnson is on the right side of history very often, especially when it comes to the Big Lie 2.0. Johnson wants to pass laws to make non-citizens from voting, even though they already can’t under federal law.

Here’s an epic takedown by Rep. Ted Lieu.

There were counterprotests to the protests, and the MAGA folks were out in ugly force. But also ironically dumb force.

I’d say “who wants to tell them” but they don’t listen.

There was this guy, who is now kicked out of his frat for making monkey faces and noises at a black woman protestor at Ole Miss.

Or maybe he’ll be on Fox or have his own podcast.

Abortion continues to take center stage in our politics, so here was a PSA for the fellas:

These tigers demonstrated that relations between pairs in their world are fairly smooth.

I’m a bit obsessed with this backpack and kitty. I’d wear it with pride.

I feel very bad for the woman cutting the nails of this dog. But that reaction is really something to behold!

This is your d’awwww moment for the week.

In human affairs, I have mastered the art of fitted sheet folding. But before I did, this was also me.

Young parents today be like…

I have said this same joke to my friends and it became a meme.

Is this what I have to look forward to? Wait for the pan over…

This gave me a glucose spike just looking at it.

Speaking of fast food…

This is quite the troll.

This is why our office has stayed remote.

Our musical Indigo centers a girl on the autism spectrum, and I think she would find this very funny.

I end with a dad joke, per usual. Guys, keep this in mind if you ever rub one out. A genie, that is.

Have a great weekend!

Jay