Just for Xeets and Giggles (09.01.24)

Surprise! It turns out there’s a lot of “downtime” while you’re waiting at the hospital for your baby to be born, so I went ahead and pre-loaded this week’s funnies before Baby Riley made her debut.

Before we dive in, an important PSA:

The winner for best follow-up this week goes to the parody Jack Smith account:

Speaking of lying, Trump is trying to blame his disastrous Arlington Cemetery stunt on the administration. But that thumbs up pic at the graves of our fallen soldiers said it all.

I’ve often wondered what Trump did to secure so many votes from young minority voters. This take was well worth watching.

They still don’t have much on Kamala Harris so they invent controversy.

With this next one, honestly with today’s headlines, who knows what’s what, right?

That’s because this particular Kennedy is just not like the others.

Speaking of which, in campaign news, RFK Jr. kinda sorta dropped out of the race, even though he still remains on most swing state ballots, and endorsed Donald Trump.

Trump welcomed him into the MAGA fold, despite once calling him left of Kamala Harris.

Trump showered love on RFK, Jr., including retweeting that this was now the “ticket.”

This meme resurfaced quickly:

Folks had thoughts about the new ticket…

Nice way to bring it all together here:

Speaking of JD, if you missed the clip of JD Vance trying awkwardly to order donuts, here’s really all you need to know about it. (If you don’t get this, Google “Ariana Grande donuts.”)

And someone caught this perfect caption during one of his speeches.

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America much prefers the Democratic VP nominee, which is why the right is trying so hard to find something wrong with him. It’s frankly rather sad. Here’s a prime example:

This brought about some excellent responses and commentary:

They literally tried to come for him for saying he won an award from the Chamber of Commerce when it was actually the Junior Chamber of Commerce. OH MY GOD.

In fact, just keep it going, fellas!

Don’t give Comer any ideas!

Only two?

I hear this behavior is common in the Midwest.

This visual though of…“Tampon Tim”?

Bring it home!

I was in a punchy mood, so I’m including this amazing take down of the “don’t touch muh guns” people. (TikTok alternative link here.)

MAGA has struggled to attract A-listers to its cause, and this week underscored that deficiency.

Nice try…

Then there’s this idiot.

In other news, the astronauts stranded in space learned they won’t be coming home until 2025.

The good news? There was a plethora of terrific animal content to make up for the deplorable humanity.

My sister sent me this pic, and it made me giggle.

This doggo wins the award:

People love putting turtles on little skateboards, but not everyone is fine with it.

Not every cat is an evil genius. My evidence:

Caught red pawed, this one.

Many are waiting for Taylor Swift to weigh in on the presidential race. But she’s a stealthy one…

Speaking of range and speed, this took an unexpected turn.

I admit that I have done this, cabinet move and all.

This was an actual headline:

What ever might have tipped off the authorities?

Memo to self when buying coloring books for the kids:

This little guy cracked me up. I must be getting the dad vibes hard. (TikTok link alternative here.)

And if you’re a fan of these old dames, this clip will make your day. (TikTok alternative link here.)

Since at the time of this drafting I’m just a few hours from becoming a dad, here is a dad joke to send you out with over the long weekend:

I’m off until Wednesday or later, hanging out in San Diego with the baby then slowly driving up the coast with my sister and daughter to be with extended family in Oakland. Here’s hoping nothing major happens while we’re stuck on Interstate 5!

Jay