Just for Xeets and Giggles (10.28.23)

All eyes were on the GOP in the House this week as they struggled to elect a new Speaker. After Kevin, Steve and Jim all flopped, they put up Tom, who prior to this race was best known for appearing upside down in a zoom call.

When Emmer predictably failed (after still refusing to compromise and work with Democrats), a number of unknowns lined up for the job.

The commentary was brutally on point.

No white smoke Speaker elected moment for three weeks…

In the end, the “moderates” in the GOP got tired of (checks notes) death threats on themselves and their families, and they just wanted some suit to go up there and stop the madness. So they chose (checks notes again) a Christian Nationalist who believes that the Earth is 6,000 years old, that gay sexual intimacy should be re-criminalized, and that women should, well…

Monica Lewinsky is always there with some levity when you need her.

Honestly, the GOP electing Johnson is so Handmaid’s Tale.

I believe it’s pronounced “Off mic.”

Nobody had ever heard of “MAGA Mike” Johnson before, but a little bit of digging brought out some really horrifying stuff. And some great takedowns. Click to watch, if you can stand this crap.

Over in Trump legal land, there’s some lawfare going on, with Trump filing all kinds of motions to dismiss, often on extremely shaky grounds. Folks had thoughts.

The Trump fraud trial is going so poorly that Trump is desperately seeking the intervention of the NY governor. She responded.

And this point can’t be emphasized enough.

This next exchange encapsulates the absurdity of our current moment:

Speaking of Russian assets, I’m going to get canceled for posting this, but it’s pretty darned funny.

In other idiocy, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene set out to prove both how devout and how dumb she is. You can’t make this up, but you can take her down.

And this isn’t funny per se, but I’m still smiling about it.

Okay, maybe it’s funny. Click for the GIF that keeps on giving.

There was another mass shooting, this time in Maine, with more victims in a single incident than any other this year. I hadn’t heard this variation before, so I thought I’d share it because it’s 🔥

Fox’s Sean Hannity used the occasion to brag that he could somehow hold off a shooter with an AR-15 using… martial arts? Watch his claim here.

Mike Pence was hot on the campaign trail.

Just give up already, Mike! They still want to hang you, not vote for you.

“Elite Legal Strikeforce” member and unfortunate inhaler of Rudy’s noxious farts, Jenna Ellis, pleaded guilty in Georgia state court.

Jenna brought a lot of white woman tears to the moment, so it had to be said…

The karma is strong with this one. But really, this will always be the gold standard for courtroom criers.

The New Yorker was on point with this nod to current events in Arkansas and the season.

I would totally make this costume for my kid if 1) I had a kid and 2) I could sew.

Speaking of Halloween, this PSA seemed important.

Let’s play three doggos today.

Doggo 1 (take a wookie here):

Doggo 2, sound up to watch, and I challenge you not to giggle:

Doggo 3, a Chuckie for a chuckle, watch here:

Drilling way down a bit to other killers, this is positively mesmerizing. Weird to think this is going on everywhere in our bodies. Watch here.

And if we found a gecko to fight this, it would be like mini Mothra v. Godzilla. Behold, the Atlas Moth.

In human videos, I wish I could pull off this move…

Or this one. Actually, no, I never want to learn this move.

The Dad Jokes account was serving up some good ones this week. This was my fav:

These two seemed meant for each other.

I bid you adieu, and a good weekend, with this parting gift and earworm. You’re welcome!

Have a good one!

Jay

Did this start your weekend off well with a smile? Put one on my face, too, with an upgrade to a paid subscription! They’ve honestly taken a nose dive since all the horrible news hit this month, and I sure could use a vote of confidence in my efforts!