Just for Xeets and Giggles (11.02.24)

This last week before Election Day has most of us on edge. And yet it seems the higher the stakes, the more absurd our politics. Apologies in advance, but one of the two candidates dressed as a garbage collector to (checks notes) “own the libs.” And you can expect what kind of atmosphere that created.

It all started of course from MSG. Not the salt substitute, the event space in NYC that American Nazis have proudly used before last week.

It featured a host of deplorable speakers and guests, and more than its share of irony.

Here’s Dr. Phil with his contribution.

Tony Hinchcliffe, an insult comedian opening for Trump that night, referred to Puerto Rico as a “floating island of garbage,” pissing off critical blocs of Puerto Rican voters in the swing states. It would be the funniest thing in the world if Trump losing the election is what Hinchcliffe is most remembered for.

After President Joe Biden misspoke and appeared to call Trump’s supporters “garbage,” things really started to spiral, along with much MAGA pearl clutching.

Excuse the language, but so accurate.

The gaffe was sure to hurt the Biden campaign, right?

The larger question remained: What might Trump do in response?

The sight of the ex-president in a bright orange garbage collector’s uniform is an insult to garbage collectors, but it was a boon to the internet. It was as if many had waited nine long years for this very moment.

Of course, the timing was perfect.

Here’s the full set:

Or maybe just…

Folks projected forward, of course.

And nostalgically backward.

Why not both?

Okay, now we’re really going old school:

And with that over bronzed face and white ghoulish mouth…

And someone was going to say it…

Earworm incoming!

The commentary was on point.

Even from the online titans of the fashion world.

Folks couldn’t help but notice this moment, when Trump couldn’t seem to open the garbage truck door and dragged his leg behind him.

The comparisons began.

That’s me at three drinks, by the way. Who drinks NINE?

But cut the man some slack, right?

Coach Walz never misses.

Trump’s niece Mary was on point, per always.

Trump did finally manage to get in the truck. But somehow it got even weirder.

George for the dunk.

Trump actually showed up to his rally dressed like that.

JoJo, take us home.

Perhaps the most unintentionally funny moment came from conservative activist Charlie Kirk, who often doesn’t have two free brain cells to rub together. He heaped praise upon this commentator, somehow not understanding it was satire.

Okay, so now you have to listen to the whole thing because it’s amazing. Here’s the Twitter link. (Or if you prefer, the TikTok link.)

Remember when Trump had a bandage on his ear from getting shot at, and all the MAGA people at the RNC in Milwaukee started wearing cotton gauze too? Well…

No, for real. And it’s not just the MAGA masses. Their higher ups did as well. Here’s Megyn Kelly, with apt commentary by the great Mrs. Betty Bowers.

The White House must have had a good laugh.

And here’s an important PSA:

I’m going to be burning the candle at both ends over the next few days! If you’d like to show your support for my work and election coverage, consider upgrading to a paid subscription if you haven’t already! I appreciate you all very much.

Halloween came along, and MAGA tried to politicize it, too.

But the economy!

Speaking of spooky creepy things, Jeff Bezos had his paper, the Washington Post, decline to endorse a candidate this year. Apparently a quarter million subscribers dropped the paper in response. But I’d rather see him hit where it really hurts.

Someone pointed out this bit of logic and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Election ads can be exhausting, but this one was pretty good, gotta say. Link to the Facebook reel here (best viewed in mobile or tablet).

The PSAs to vote are getting interesting.

Here’s another:

Speaking of things you can’t unsee…

The World Series win by the Dodgers, who won right before Trump lost the last time in 2020, was hard for Yankees fans. This made my day, and I don’t even watch baseball:

A fan tried to grab a ball out of the hand of a player during the game after he’d caught it.

In other sports news, a player who decided it was okay to bring his politics to the field met some instant karma.

The early vote is showing a yawning gap between men and women, because most ladies understood the assignment. Still, there are some tensions…

Right wing commentators began to panic a bit about men not even showing up to vote in large numbers. Mike Cernovich called it a “disaster.”

Speaking of white dudes, some are still for Kamala Harris.

The GOP once again is trying to leverage anti-LGBTQ attitudes to turn out voters, and the worst of it is directed at the trans community. This meme was going around, but the response is *chef’s kiss*

The WSJ editors tried to make a point and wound up making a different one:

We are reminded that the Simpsons can tell the future.

Political Halloween combines two of my favorite things. Here’s a winner:

This guy gives Maya Rudolph a run for this impression:

So what scares the MAGA peeps? Check out this video:

Tucker Carlson continues desperately to try and remain relevant.

I love this response.

Halloween is also a time for pets to shine. Here is a winner:

The We Rate Dogs account held a contest and went through their top ten. The winning costume is worth sitting through a bit of marketing:

There was also this one making the rounds. I’m getting ideas for my corgi…

There are many terrible things about Twitter these days, but one feature that isn’t is the Community Notes. Today, I present you with part of a long epic that unfolded there, all in response to the Puerto Rico question.

Gentle Readers, this is the saga of Poppy.

We later learned that Poppy is still at it.

As we head into the election, a wonderful number by the Marsh Family to ease the soul. Freddy Mercury would approve.

On the apolitical side of things, this is your quick giggle of the week.

Remember, there are even worse things than elections.

I have watched this more than ten times, I admit. Facebook reel link here.

Some Halloween humor for you, confirming I have the comedic tastes of a 12 year old.

And this isn’t pho just anyone.

Other terrifying offerings:

I’m about to ruin your day with this clip if you are anything like my bestie Blair.

Clip art anyone?

Here are some of my favorite costumes from around the internet. This one took me three seconds to get this because Spanish.

#NeverForget

And our winner is…

To close things out, your dad joke of the week is a real groaner.

All I can say is, “Good Luxor.”

Humor is a great antidote to anxiety and stress! I hope this week’s collection has brought a smile to your face and a spring to your step.

Now let’s go take out the trash on Tuesday.

Jay