Just for Xeets and Giggles (11.09.24)

AKA Laughing Through the Tears

I know what you’re thinking. How the hell can we laugh at a time like this? Our country just elected a would-be dictator, convicted felon and serial sexual assaulter. And we did it willingly! What the hell is wrong with us?

I’m going to keep this jab, borne of these times, at the ready.

Here’s what we’re up against, folks:

Ms. Midler had it right when she laid out the stakes.

A variation on this theme:

How could we do this to ourselves as a country?

But the reality for The Onion may be grim.

The Guardian in the UK got the headline right.

The Europeans really aren’t holding back and I’m okay with that.

Here was the front page of a German newspaper:

Please not the “Horror-Clown!” And as a reminder that it’s not just us who are dumbfounded and without a better way to express it,

I guess it’s the same in German?

Here’s every sane world leader trying to compose a congratulations to Trump. This is so damn perfect. (Twitter link here, TikTok link here.)

And can I please marry Pres. Macron? I know, I’m not an older French woman, but I have other admirable qualities.

This contribution from the Scots feels helpful.

Today is about unloading a lot of our frustrations and a chance to laugh / cry together. And to mutter things like “Preach!” and “Amen!” because this is our church today.

Also, today’s collection is brought to you by the letter F. It’s our official sponsor, so fair warning, you’ll see a lot of product placement.

Russia even tried to disrupt things with bomb threats in Georgia. And you can’t possibly make a joke out of—oh.

During the election, Trump was online, and he wanted others to be there, too.

We queer folk had our to-do lists ready.

Even as things started going south, the commentary was valiant.

Many white women refused to cast ballots for the orange dude (though frustratingly, not the majority)…

Meanwhile, that ghoul Stephen Miller was rallying armies of incels to the ballot box.

As the votes came in and darkness crept across the land, a terrible sight arose.

Mount Doom, indeed.

Then all of us were this on Wednesday:

In the coming darkness, I hope to be a beacon of light. With your support, I can help get us through to the other side.

Once the race was called, Harris didn’t concede right away. She waited until the next day, but I get it.

Perhaps, though, Harris will arise again. It’s a trajectory that feels familiar somehow.

This is the kind of stuff the MAGA folks have been posting. Excuse the saltiness, I don’t make the rules.

This prediction feels accurate:

The celebrations were gross, and the celebrants even grosser.

This one was true because for realz.

The lack of basic knowledge and information helped get us where we are.

They have zero self awareness, so we need to serve it right back to them.

Still, we libs can find humor even in insurrection.

The irony of the tough on crime folks voting for Trump…

This is a new twist on an old declaration:

MAGA among friends and family seemed genuinely surprised to be cut off.

The misogynists are already overplaying their victory and pissing off a lot of folks.

Women aren’t having it.

The amount of people about to have their faces eaten by leopards after voting for the Leopards Eating Faces Party…

Immigrants voting to be deported is something truly eye opening.

This was a common and understandable sentiment.

Zooming out a bit, there are a lot of ways you could describe what we just endured, but this one hit home for me.

And wow, all of a sudden, all the MAGA conspiracy talk of a “stolen election” is nowhere.

Or even more succinctly,

Or even more briefly,

Not that they didn’t try to set this up. See the texts they forgot to unschedule?

The results had folks asking the tough questions.

And what about Harris’s powers on January 6? Are they really as big as Mike Pence’s supposedly were or nah?

We may be down, but we can still sick burn.

Remember when they tried this?

They’re going to try it again now that Trump gets to come into office riding high on Biden’s great economic numbers. Don’t let them forget it this time. It’s shopping cart wars for the next four years.

In fairness, they probably don’t know what saffron is.

Somebody find this guy and put his third eye out!

As the news sunk in, things got very real talk.

Even God thinks so!

This tweet was all of us.

Some people were already thinking ahead though!

Proving that sarcasm doesn’t translate well in text…

Even the weather became political.

Many took Wednesday off. Some took the whole week.

The day after, all seems quiet on the texting front.

I hate that this is so correct.

Speaking of too stupid for us…

I tried to talk to my pets about the election, but they acted like nothing at all had changed. Somehow it made me feel better. Innocence is bliss!

Pet therapy it is. Here’s a kitten to soothe the soul.

And another. I guess we know where the buck stops!

If it walks like a duck…

I’m a bit obsessed with Pesto the Penguin.

Here’s the skinny on the new Lion King movie.

If you think humans are smarter than animals…

Here’s Exhibit One:

Passing on some advice from last Sunday.

Just don’t put it off. Start saving now! Oh…

And here’s a random complaint I have had, too.

An eagle-eyed reader caught this one. It feels like inorganic, sponsored content.

I end this miserable week with an even more miserable Dad Joke, because no matter how bad things get, there’s always room to groan.

Ba-dum, tsss!

I hope that this brought a much needed smile or laugh today. It’s more than good medicine. Our spirits are what will keep our backbones straight, our heads up and our eyes forward.

Thank you for being here for me too, and for having my back. This community gives me great hope, that most precious of things.

Jay