Just for Xeets and Giggles (11.18.23)

From man babies in Congress to George Santos’s Only Fans account, it’s been quite the week.

Senator Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), who appears to be still mad that his parents named him Markwayne, decided to pick a physical fight with Teamster president, Sean O’Brien, during a Senate Committee hearing. Mullin is known for being a little thin-skinned and overly armed. He tweeted this not long after the altercation:

Well, the jokes pretty much wrote themselves from there.

Mullin wasn’t so tough on January 6. He gets runner up to the hasty runner himself, Sen. Josh Hawley.

Perhaps his wittle feewings were hurt when O’Brien mocked him for his height, which isn’t called for unless someone’s desperately trying to make up for it.

Over in the House, Rep. James Comer (R-KY) of the House Oversight Committee got into it with Jared Moskowitz (D-FL), even hurling ad hominems. “You look like a smurf!” Comer sneered, referring I suppose to Moskowitz’s blue tie and blue suit. Moskowitz took it in stride.

Members of the Senate GOP continue to try to get Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) to back down, but to no avail. So military families are starting to ratchet up the pressure. George Conway with the zing:

In other brilliant military readiness moves, Donald Trump suggested that we build a missile defense shield like Israel.

George Santos was trending in memes again as the House Ethics Committee issued its scathing report on his financial fraud and malfeasance. The fact that jumped out at everyone was that he spent his donors’ money on Only Fans subscriptions.

I suppose if you’re going to spend Republican donor money, let it go to the hard-pressed sex workers.

There is little mercy within the LGBTQ+ community for this thief and fraud.

The Botox expenditures resulted in this perfect post:

Quick pledge break! If any of this made you smile, why not return the favor and become a paid supporter if you haven’t upgraded already?

On Friday night, news broke that Sam Altman, the founder and CEO of OpenAI which has over 100,000,000 users of ChatGPT, was unceremoniously fired by what appears to be a politically divided and weakened board.

Disclaimer: I know Sam from my early days in NYC, and what happened is truly shocking. So no shade on him, but the commentary was pretty clever.

And this gem is going to always be with us for just about anything.

Speaking generally of the Orange One, this moment was just amazing. Watch the clip here.

Another Trump was in the news in a not-flattering way. Lara Trump decided it would be a good idea to record a single. The Jack Smith parody account FTW. Listen here if you dare.

Apparently, some folks on TikTok have never really heard of some guy named Osama Bin Laden, or don’t remember that he killed thousands of Americans on 9/11. His “Letter to America” trended on social media with the fringes of the far left embracing it because this timeline really sucks.

Rather than get into that hornets’ nest, let’s just have a bit of fun at the expense of those who don’t really understand the stakes or the history very well.

Ooof, there’s some truth there.

This was my favorite, from the way back machine.

On Fox News, perpetually slighted former swimmer Riley Gaines, who started out hating on trans athletes, has predictably moved on to outrage over the racist war on Christmas and to outright gay panic. Her targets were a Black Santa Claus (gasp!) and very rainbow bedecked Nutcracker doll (gay gasp!).

This takedown was brutal in its economy.

Uncle George chimed in, ever with his unique take.

Okay, it’s animal time! And today’s selections have some real talent.

Here’s a raven, and it’s pretty clear what’s happening. Watch here.

And this pup’s got the MOVES. Check them out here.

It’s not a video, but it’s an amazing photo. I’ll never think of crocodile tears the same way again!

I’m very grateful my cat Shade does not have a partner in crime. Look at what could happen.

And now this song will never not summon this clip for me.

I struggled with errors around geography in my newsletter this week (apologies, South Dakota…) so I think the algorithm understood what I needed to see.

A change in the line up at Queer Eye was announced, and Joel Kim Booster fired a deadly one.

Right-wing troll Jordan Peterson had some thoughts about women, and someone dealt with him quickly, too.

This runway set drew attention, but not necessarily the good kind. Watch the clip here.

Travis Kelce probably never thought his old tweets would resurface, but if you date Taylor Swift, it’s open season. This was ooof.

This video was my favorite for the week. Elaine is everything, everywhere, all at once. Watch the montage clip here.

And to wrap it up, here’s a groaner that will likely be the worst pun you’ll hear all weekend.

Have a terrific, light and restful weekend!

Jay