Just for Xeets and Giggles

Today, we begin with the news that Mike Pence, someone widely lauded for deciding not to violate his constitutional duties on January 6, finally realized that no one in his party wants him to be president. SAD! Speaking of the orange one and historic tweets:

Such a shame, because Pence was really starting to find his footing with the masses.

Should we have compassion for Mike and poor Mother? Nah.

This take wins for most clever…

His staunch anti-abortion stance had put a target on lots of folks, so here was their chance to throw it back.

The religious nature of Pence’s candidacy was always a bit much, and anyway, he can’t out-Jesus that other Mike who is now Speaker. Remember how things started with Pence? Then how they ended…

Speaking of devoutly religious men who have no business peddling their Christ oils on the rest of us, Speaker Mike Johnson gave us a summary of his own worldview.

The MAGA has lined up behind Johnson, but play this out for a bit.

A reporter tried to ask Speaker Johnson about his efforts to overturn the 2020 election, and his conference booed, while this lady, Rep. Virginia Fox (R-NC), who is (checks notes) Chair of the House Education Committee, yelled “Shut up!”

Something about that felt so familiar…

Johnson’s first move was to remove Ukraine funding from consideration in the aid bill proposed by the White House.

Johnson put out a mailer accusing the liberal media of coming after him, but this Freudian slip says it all.

Okay now. Stop, drop and roll your account into an upgrade if you’ve been meaning to!

Thank you!

Onward…

Senator Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) came under harsh attack even from his own fellow GOP senators for maintaining his hold on hundreds of military promotions. He maintained his controversial stance in the name of serving the people of Alabama. This one liner was deadly…

Donald Trump’s legal woes continue to build as members of his family were required to testify in the New York State civil fraud action. Trump continued his whining, so he had to be reminded that he ain’t alone.

His son Fredo—I mean Eric—took aim at Michael Cohen, Trump’s former fixer turned witness for the state. I mean, the nerve!

Despite his record, the far-right somehow continues to cling to the notion that the Orange One was chosen by God to be our president. One religious leader had heard quite enough.

In the House, Rep. George Anthony Devolder Santos (R-NY-but not for long) survived a vote to expel him. He tried to send thank yous to all who supposedly supported him, but it didn’t go well.

Here’s the letter, which is *chef’s kiss*

Marjorie Three Names was really mad about the statue of Robert E. Lee that once stood in Charlottesville being melted down and recast. She got a few things wrong, of course, and she needed a hard fact-check. Watch it here.

Elon Musk continued to prove to the world that he’s an out-of-touch, paranoid transphobe…

Huh? Okay, Cis, calm down.

We’re slowly getting used to how ridiculous Musk is. This is him trying to describe the Tesla truck.

Oh, the replies…

The volcanoes and faults were active… online.

Sometimes it’s worth going into the comments. They didn’t disappoint.

Turning to pets and the spooky season, this clip requires sound on.

An excellent meme-based costume with this doggo. Watch the clip here:

This was my favorite video this week. It’s pure physical comedy. She has the best and worst job all at once! Watch here:

I once sleepwalked straight into our pool growing up, so I empathize with this poor thing. Watch till the end…

I’ve been to dance parties in my younger days that felt exactly like this. Huh. Watch here.

Speaking of cool moves, there’s this guy, who has exactly one, but it’s pretty great. Watch here.

The Merriam-Webster account, which is known for its timely zingers, outdid itself with this one. For fans of Schitt’s Creek and Moira Rose, this is priceless. Watch the compilation here:

I leave you with a dad joke.

Have a great weekend!

Jay