Just for Xeets and Giggles

Last minute note: Like many others, I am watching the news out of the Middle East with horror and deep sadness. I hope that this collection of humor can brighten your day a bit, even if or perhaps especially if your heart feels heavy.

The big news this week was the ouster of Speaker Kevin McCarthy. As his defenders rose to speak on his behalf, Democrats watched with both horror and resignation as he predictably drove the clown car off the cliff.

It was hard not to draw some parallels.

This one landed with particular resonance.

Ouch.

“But how could Matt Gaetz and his band of eight do this to their own party?” many Republicans wondered. Here was a pretty good answer:

The enormity of the self-own was evident and exploitable.

When it was clear McCarthy lacked the votes, the shade settled in deep.

What romaines of his political career? Lettuce speculate.

Slow clap for this take:

Speaking of which, this was a popular meme you may have seen, but in case you haven’t…

This was both inevitable and still hilarious:

Speculation began right away about who could replace McCarthy. This one gave me a bad visual:

I appreciate the full-circle on this one:

Speaking of the the universe hearing our prayers, in other news, Trump was in attendance at his civil trial in New York and looking none too happy. His niece noticed.

She wasn’t quite done dragging him. This one was an encore, courtesy of Don Jr.:

Outside the trial, Trump tried to play victim, claiming that the lack of jury in his case was somehow unfair.

But people came with receipts.

Sean Hannity came to the ex-president’s defense, surprising no one, and doubling down on the “poor, victimized Trump family” narrative. But the hypocrisy was obvi:

Trump is in more hot water, too, after ABC News reported that he had shared classified military secrets about our nuclear submarines with a rando Australian packing magnate. His people tried to downplay the incident, but folks weren’t buying.

Speaking of foreigners accepting things they shouldn’t, this headline made my day.

Or microphones being where they shouldn’t…

It’s Halloween soon, so remember to keep your kids safe because they be puttin’ all kinds of stuff in the candy.

In other urban myths and conspiracies, the federal government was supposed to (checks notes) issue an emergency alert that would activate a virus inserted in the vaccines using the 5G network and turn everyone into zombies. Yes, there are people believing and sharing this with sincerity.

On the subject of people who should know better acting stupidly, Elon Musk dug out an old video of him shooting a gun to help bolster his alpha male cred.

A real soldier had some thoughts.

#FixHimJesus is my new favorite hashtag.

Elon’s financial mess at X got a jolt of good news, or so he tried to spin it.

While we’re talking about people who need fixing, I just have to leave this video here. It is not an SNL skit. It is Gen. Michael Flynn, auto tuned, singing with a chorus of MAGA folks about Freedum. This is perfect. No notes. Click to watch, but be warned. My jaw is still on the ground.

After that, we need some animals, both wholesome and hilarious.

This dog got a new set of legs, and oh my heart. Watch here:

We have all been where this panda has been, right? Video here:

I’d warn this person not to treat this baby hippo as so innocent, but I don’t want to appear hippo-critical. Watch here.

Here’s a bird with something to crow about. Watch here:

In other cool video news, the wow factor was high with the opening of The Sphere in Las Vegas for its first set of concerts. Watch here.

Speaking of events to watch, I didn’t realize it but this take is pretty true. Marry or bludgeon, I suppose?

I leave you with this deep thought.

I hope you have a great weekend! And don’t forget to become a paid subscriber so that I can continue to bring you this unique mix of analysis and humor!

Jay