Stand firm. We're in for a 4 year squall, but we can resist the worst of it by never giving in. Trump and his goons can't hold a candle to the forces of nature. If we do not choose to "live simply so that others can simply live", we are doomed, anyway. Walk gently on the Mother Earth.
Well said, Linda! We need to lash ourselves to the mast and laugh at the storm, Lt.Dan style! We'll survive this and we'll be stronger for it. They haven't killed us; they've made us stronger.
Live simply that others may simply live still lightens my spirit after all these years. I need to discover the faithful poet who gave us those words. Thank you!
I have friends from a country that saw some of the worst genocide of their people, they lost children, spouses and friends. I have never been around a more loving and happy group of people. It was something I observed and felt honored to be their friend. I don't have an answer to many things but happiness is something that when properly acquired contains a trace extract of the pain we have lived through.
Such an interesting article! Thanks so much for sharing it, Jay. Basic happiness with your life and in your life is the formula for dealing with unpleasant, even dreadful, circumstances beyond your control. And, let's face it, much of what we'll be dealing with over the next 4 years will be beyond our control.
My way of handling the shocking election results was to focus on things close to home and remember to be grateful for the good things in my life. It also includes self care like tuning out the MSM which has fully bent the knee. So I'm grateful for my family, my friends and the independent media community we have here. None of us have to go this alone. We have a whole community of like-minded, not-crazy folks to lean on, and we'll get through this. Also, we still have a job to do; we have a country to save! Much love to you and Baby Riley!
I agree with this. I am focusing on the good things in my life - and I am lucky; there are many - and spending time with like-minded and engaged people. I think what has happened is that people feel so frustrated, frightened, and helpless thinking there's not much they can actually do on an individual level that they have turned constant upset into their job.
That's very true, Victoria. But, in fact, we aren't helpless. The election was A LOT closer than you'd think by listening to the MSM. We've already won two must-win elections in VA and held the state legislative majority. There are other important races coming up in this year, too, like the governorships of NJ and VA. Getting back to work, I find, helps ease that helpless feeling. Doing something good for somebody else works wonders, too! Like you, I feel blessed for the good people and things in my life.
Yes. I understand what you mean. More people voted against “him” than voted for “him.”
I find where we are incomprehensible. I am 77; my father was a radioman on a cargo attack ship through WWIl. He met my mother in Liverpool on his first stop, saw her three times, and went back to England in 1946 and married her. When we moved from NYC to NJ, EVERY house on my street was owned by a WWII veteran. During my childhood my mother and I went to The Wirral in England every other year, and the first few times, there was still bombing rubble in Liverpool and food rationing. Maybe they really were “the greatest generation,” defending democracy by putting their lives on the line and Winston Churchill the GOAT of statesmen.
This is very helpful. I am happy in and with my life. I have a fulfilling career as a nurse-midwife and am married to an awesome man who is also my best friend (he’s so kind and funny, I’m so lucky!). We have wonderful grown kids who are healthy and trying to live lives that are heartfelt and meaningful. I am comfortable and have a circle of friends and family whom I adore. and I am fortunate to also share my home with my husband of 36 years, my lovely 87 y.o. mother, and our three sweet dogs! I think I’ll be able to retire in about five years if all goes well - if we still have social security :/
I’m going to continue to be happy *in* America even as I’m very unhappy *with* certain dire aspects of American politics and culture. I feel a profound sense of sadness and horror at the way we are heading and am deeply concerned for the health of my patients and our planet. I worry for the safety of my daughter/her wife and for marginalized groups in the community. I’m unhappy that many Americans have turned toward Christian Nationalism and away from progressive values. We need to do so many things to create a just, equitable, and healthy life for our citizens and so many people can’t even see this need or are actively working against it. Also, many of these MAGA idiots call themselves Christians yet do not live their lives in a way that their Jesus would have supported. I wish they saw the hypocrisy in the way they go about their lives and in how they vote. I wish they’d strive to be a Jimmy or Rosalyn Carter not worship the Orange felon and emulate MTG, oligarchs, or people with bad intentions for our democracy. I wish I could pull the veil off their eyes. I know I can’t, so I’ll just keep working on what I can change, building support networks and friendships, and nurturing a sense of gratitude. I will also hope for a better future.
Thank you, Jay. I am so grateful for your work and that of the other Substack authors I depend on (such as HCR, Robert Hubbell, Joyce Vance, and so many more). Y’all keep me sane!!
Happiness is a moment by moment thing for me. A true uphill climb some days like yesterday when I read this from the Idaho Tribune:
Because they ( the University of Idaho in Moscow, Idaho) had DEI in place:
In addition to the UI Women’s Center, the Black and African American Cultural Center (BAACC), the Office of Equity and Diversity, the Office of Multicultural Affairs, the Diversity Center and the LGBTQA Office have also closed.
And so it begins. Death by a thousand cuts as the saying goes. Jay you and Substack are really all that keeps me sane. I am sorry I can’t make happiness happen right now but I can try to keep fighting. We’ve had a taste of true freedom. Now I will fight for the whole meal once more !
Oh my goodness!! Eventually those universities will have small numbers of right wing white nationalist students who will NOT get a good education. The fights back the starting guess.
Jay, this is why I subscribe to you. I didn't know I needed this column until I saw the headline. Thank you for giving us more of the fuel we need for the fight.
Oops…accidentally hit send. Finishing my comment: …during the pandemic, called The Science of Well-Being. It included some of the concepts you cite and has served me well in the years following. Gaining perspective on our feelings and attitudes and then acting in support of our own well-being is a worthwhile practice in these terribly unsettling times. Let’s keep being the change…the best we can.
Thank you. I've always felt happiness is a choice we make. Some of us have to make that choice day by day or minute by minute. I look for things everyday that bring me joy and happiness. Am I happy all day, every day? No! Because I'm a multidimensional person with complex emotions. But everyday I do find things that make me happy. For me, right now, I'm finding happiness in the clean layer of snow and multitude of birds feeding on the seeds I've laid out for them at my window. I'm happy that my family and friends are healthy and doing well. I'm happy watching my grandkitty who is also enjoying watching the birds at our window. I hope everyone finds something to bring them peace and joy today and all the days going forward.
Jay, could we get the name of that podcast? There's someone in my life that I would love to share that episode with, because I think she needs to hear that message...thanks!
Thank you Jay. This is essential to have the energy to upgrade whatever is not ideal. I think we can all still be happy with the America that we envision as ideal. We can still find many ,many examples of goodness and justice in our America. Even though an important aspect is unraveling, there are still more that are holding firm. And yes, community, family, nature, service bring us many reasons to be happy.
Focusing on those pockets of goodness (we are seeing some of it work in Los Angeles right now) does help. Locally I am sure that everywhere has organizations that serve the community - getting involved with them is uplifting.
I also need to stop being envious of those who live elsewhere and comment here & on HCR about how good life is there. (I can enjoy their contributions but not be jealous .)
I can’t join them, so I have to work at making life good here. We can do that.
Your message fits in very nicely with the podcast I decided to start right after the election. I had to do something to avoid the abyss. Working toward a launch in March has achieved much of what you have written about: sense of purpose, building new communities, staying busy- almost thriving! Stay tuned for my podcast- Surviving Trump
Jay, I appreciate your post and understand what you're saying, but I would like to pose some questions. What if the direction of our country doesn't mean we can all carry on with our lives "as usual"? What if our safety nets disappear or are drastically curtailed? What if climate change is dramatically exacerbated? What if we can no longer get decent healthcare? What if taxes on the non-rich rise so much that we can't manage? What if public education is further eviscerated? What if there's another pandemic and anti-health jerks just let it happen? There's a lot more but I think you get my drift. This political situation is not something that can be ignored. It affects all of us. There's no sticking our heads in the sand. And then what?
I dont think Jay is saying to ignore whats happening, but when it starts to affect our individual emotional well being, then its time to assess. None of us can be effective when we arent our best. "What ifs", IMO, only further our distress. And if there was an easy answer to them, we wouldn't be here...
But....What can we do? I have felt somewhat better in consistently writing to congresspeople and senators on both sides of aisle, expressing my feelings. Truth be told, I've been completely saddened by my fellow citizens who chose this path. I'm working to reestablish my personal community so there are positive energetic people in my circle who can lift me up when I need it...and vice versa. A lot can happen, including another revolution... maybe we're pat time for that? I dont know and have no answers. But I do think self care is important now for the big effort we'll need to expend in the future... ✌️💙
I completely agree! And I am doing the same kinds of things you are. I know what Jay is saying too. Maybe I'm overreacting. I just see things rapidly--at lightning speed--deteriorating and I am desperate to stop the pain we're all facing.
Girl, I'm right there with you. I have had days I could barely get out of bed. The fear of losing Medicare and Social Security has kept me up at night. TOGETHER, we gotta make it!
I run a lot of those what ifs in my head at 2:00 in the morning these days. I feel deeply afraid. But reflecting on Jay's comments, I am also very happy with the work I get to do where I help a lot of people and I'm happy with my family, not every moment lol. Maybe it's not either I ignore or I despair but something else
It is something else. You can't worry every minute. And Jay has a point to seize happiness where we can find it. But I do think we can't just close our eyes and sing "la la" for four years. People are going to suffer and it's all so unnecessary.
While the what ifs can help us prepare for what may come, that line of thinking can paralyze as well. When we’re paralyzed, we cease to be agents of our own futures and the future we seek for our country. The fear is real, and a normal response, but we cannot stay stuck there. My strategy is to just keep doing the work trusting that others in the progressive community will do the same. I ask myself everyday “What is the next right thing I can do right now to bring about the future I want for my family and country?” Whenever the what ifs crowd in, I go back to this question, and it works.
I actually do that too. Right now I am trying to help with fire prevention, mental health services, and backup power systems. That should keep me busy for a while. I identified three issues today and decided to work on them. This is pretty much how I normally do things. Whether I've made a difference I don't know but I keep trying.
Excellent questions Paula. Thank you for your post.
I no longer believe we can do anything to change what our current government does. There are few if any guardrails this time. Protests don’t work. Letters, emails, calls just get thrown in the round file or deleted. Why? They. Don’t. Care.
They will pass permanent massive tax cuts for themselves, for the 1% Club. They will do their best to cut Veteran’s Disability, veteran’s healthcare, Medicare, Medicaid, SNAP, school lunches and Social Security to little to nothing. How much they succeed remains to be seen but the intense constant stress these boastful claims and promises have caused cannot be ignored. Combine that stress with the futility of the old ways of convincing our Congressional Reps to watch out for everyone and you have a situation where they are fully in charge, don’t care about anyone not in the 1% Club, and are intent on carving up the country to get as much out of it as they can.
I’ve done everything everyone suggests and done so since 2016. Letters, emails, calls, postcards, donations. Look where we are.
If musk and trump have their way I will lose my veteran’s compensation and healthcare. Once I lose my income I will lose my house. Exactly what social programs does our society have that will help me stay in my home or at the least some place safe where I’m not jammed in with others and keep my cat with me while I try to figure out where to live that isn’t a homeless shelter? None.
I’m not advocating ignoring what is going on. But I am saying the old ways of trying to effect change don’t work. They are demoralizing because when you put time and energy into trying to effect change while hoping to keep your income and thus, shelter, food and healthcare and all you can do is watch the destruction and hear the constant hate, well…it’s exhausting.
Don’t tell me that “this attitude is exactly what they want and if you give up then they win”. I’ve got news for you - this attitude is reality and they already won.
We need to figure out how to take care of each other for the very basics of survival while trying to get through the destruction of everything we know.
I know exactly what you mean, Kasumii, and I don't know what to do either. There are more of us than them and yet I don't know how that's going to help us. I don't know what to say except that I fervently hope these worst-case scenarios don't come to pass. Why 77 million Americans sold us out with no compunction I will never understand.
Excuse the typos! I am carrying a baby in one arm!
I think that makes them ‘Bā-bōes’, and they are therefore cute-isms Carry on 🫶🏼🫶🏼
That'll do it!
It's the only way to go, Jay!
Stand firm. We're in for a 4 year squall, but we can resist the worst of it by never giving in. Trump and his goons can't hold a candle to the forces of nature. If we do not choose to "live simply so that others can simply live", we are doomed, anyway. Walk gently on the Mother Earth.
Well said, Linda! We need to lash ourselves to the mast and laugh at the storm, Lt.Dan style! We'll survive this and we'll be stronger for it. They haven't killed us; they've made us stronger.
Live simply that others may simply live still lightens my spirit after all these years. I need to discover the faithful poet who gave us those words. Thank you!
Yes ✨ I know those words from within the Friends (Quaker) community.
I have friends from a country that saw some of the worst genocide of their people, they lost children, spouses and friends. I have never been around a more loving and happy group of people. It was something I observed and felt honored to be their friend. I don't have an answer to many things but happiness is something that when properly acquired contains a trace extract of the pain we have lived through.
Such an interesting article! Thanks so much for sharing it, Jay. Basic happiness with your life and in your life is the formula for dealing with unpleasant, even dreadful, circumstances beyond your control. And, let's face it, much of what we'll be dealing with over the next 4 years will be beyond our control.
My way of handling the shocking election results was to focus on things close to home and remember to be grateful for the good things in my life. It also includes self care like tuning out the MSM which has fully bent the knee. So I'm grateful for my family, my friends and the independent media community we have here. None of us have to go this alone. We have a whole community of like-minded, not-crazy folks to lean on, and we'll get through this. Also, we still have a job to do; we have a country to save! Much love to you and Baby Riley!
I agree with this. I am focusing on the good things in my life - and I am lucky; there are many - and spending time with like-minded and engaged people. I think what has happened is that people feel so frustrated, frightened, and helpless thinking there's not much they can actually do on an individual level that they have turned constant upset into their job.
That's very true, Victoria. But, in fact, we aren't helpless. The election was A LOT closer than you'd think by listening to the MSM. We've already won two must-win elections in VA and held the state legislative majority. There are other important races coming up in this year, too, like the governorships of NJ and VA. Getting back to work, I find, helps ease that helpless feeling. Doing something good for somebody else works wonders, too! Like you, I feel blessed for the good people and things in my life.
Yes. I understand what you mean. More people voted against “him” than voted for “him.”
I find where we are incomprehensible. I am 77; my father was a radioman on a cargo attack ship through WWIl. He met my mother in Liverpool on his first stop, saw her three times, and went back to England in 1946 and married her. When we moved from NYC to NJ, EVERY house on my street was owned by a WWII veteran. During my childhood my mother and I went to The Wirral in England every other year, and the first few times, there was still bombing rubble in Liverpool and food rationing. Maybe they really were “the greatest generation,” defending democracy by putting their lives on the line and Winston Churchill the GOAT of statesmen.
Wow! I love that you told this personal story and great summation!
This is very helpful. I am happy in and with my life. I have a fulfilling career as a nurse-midwife and am married to an awesome man who is also my best friend (he’s so kind and funny, I’m so lucky!). We have wonderful grown kids who are healthy and trying to live lives that are heartfelt and meaningful. I am comfortable and have a circle of friends and family whom I adore. and I am fortunate to also share my home with my husband of 36 years, my lovely 87 y.o. mother, and our three sweet dogs! I think I’ll be able to retire in about five years if all goes well - if we still have social security :/
I’m going to continue to be happy *in* America even as I’m very unhappy *with* certain dire aspects of American politics and culture. I feel a profound sense of sadness and horror at the way we are heading and am deeply concerned for the health of my patients and our planet. I worry for the safety of my daughter/her wife and for marginalized groups in the community. I’m unhappy that many Americans have turned toward Christian Nationalism and away from progressive values. We need to do so many things to create a just, equitable, and healthy life for our citizens and so many people can’t even see this need or are actively working against it. Also, many of these MAGA idiots call themselves Christians yet do not live their lives in a way that their Jesus would have supported. I wish they saw the hypocrisy in the way they go about their lives and in how they vote. I wish they’d strive to be a Jimmy or Rosalyn Carter not worship the Orange felon and emulate MTG, oligarchs, or people with bad intentions for our democracy. I wish I could pull the veil off their eyes. I know I can’t, so I’ll just keep working on what I can change, building support networks and friendships, and nurturing a sense of gratitude. I will also hope for a better future.
Thank you, Jay. I am so grateful for your work and that of the other Substack authors I depend on (such as HCR, Robert Hubbell, Joyce Vance, and so many more). Y’all keep me sane!!
Happiness is a moment by moment thing for me. A true uphill climb some days like yesterday when I read this from the Idaho Tribune:
Because they ( the University of Idaho in Moscow, Idaho) had DEI in place:
In addition to the UI Women’s Center, the Black and African American Cultural Center (BAACC), the Office of Equity and Diversity, the Office of Multicultural Affairs, the Diversity Center and the LGBTQA Office have also closed.
And so it begins. Death by a thousand cuts as the saying goes. Jay you and Substack are really all that keeps me sane. I am sorry I can’t make happiness happen right now but I can try to keep fighting. We’ve had a taste of true freedom. Now I will fight for the whole meal once more !
Kinda interesting that the name of the town is Moscow. Just a coincidence, I guess.
Truth!!🔥🤣
Closed or renamed in my state, too
These are supposed to be institutions of higher learning. Not having a back bone must be a requirement. 🤷♀️
Oh my goodness!! Eventually those universities will have small numbers of right wing white nationalist students who will NOT get a good education. The fights back the starting guess.
Jay, this is why I subscribe to you. I didn't know I needed this column until I saw the headline. Thank you for giving us more of the fuel we need for the fight.
Oops…accidentally hit send. Finishing my comment: …during the pandemic, called The Science of Well-Being. It included some of the concepts you cite and has served me well in the years following. Gaining perspective on our feelings and attitudes and then acting in support of our own well-being is a worthwhile practice in these terribly unsettling times. Let’s keep being the change…the best we can.
Thanks, Jay. Babies definitely give us a reason to keep up the good fight.
Thank you. I've always felt happiness is a choice we make. Some of us have to make that choice day by day or minute by minute. I look for things everyday that bring me joy and happiness. Am I happy all day, every day? No! Because I'm a multidimensional person with complex emotions. But everyday I do find things that make me happy. For me, right now, I'm finding happiness in the clean layer of snow and multitude of birds feeding on the seeds I've laid out for them at my window. I'm happy that my family and friends are healthy and doing well. I'm happy watching my grandkitty who is also enjoying watching the birds at our window. I hope everyone finds something to bring them peace and joy today and all the days going forward.
Jay, could we get the name of that podcast? There's someone in my life that I would love to share that episode with, because I think she needs to hear that message...thanks!
Here is the link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-inside-with-dr-becky/id1561689671?i=1000682982341
Thank you!
Thank you Jay. This is essential to have the energy to upgrade whatever is not ideal. I think we can all still be happy with the America that we envision as ideal. We can still find many ,many examples of goodness and justice in our America. Even though an important aspect is unraveling, there are still more that are holding firm. And yes, community, family, nature, service bring us many reasons to be happy.
Focusing on those pockets of goodness (we are seeing some of it work in Los Angeles right now) does help. Locally I am sure that everywhere has organizations that serve the community - getting involved with them is uplifting.
I also need to stop being envious of those who live elsewhere and comment here & on HCR about how good life is there. (I can enjoy their contributions but not be jealous .)
I can’t join them, so I have to work at making life good here. We can do that.
Just what I needed to read today! Thanks, Jay. Hug to Riley! <3
Your message fits in very nicely with the podcast I decided to start right after the election. I had to do something to avoid the abyss. Working toward a launch in March has achieved much of what you have written about: sense of purpose, building new communities, staying busy- almost thriving! Stay tuned for my podcast- Surviving Trump
Jay, I appreciate your post and understand what you're saying, but I would like to pose some questions. What if the direction of our country doesn't mean we can all carry on with our lives "as usual"? What if our safety nets disappear or are drastically curtailed? What if climate change is dramatically exacerbated? What if we can no longer get decent healthcare? What if taxes on the non-rich rise so much that we can't manage? What if public education is further eviscerated? What if there's another pandemic and anti-health jerks just let it happen? There's a lot more but I think you get my drift. This political situation is not something that can be ignored. It affects all of us. There's no sticking our heads in the sand. And then what?
I dont think Jay is saying to ignore whats happening, but when it starts to affect our individual emotional well being, then its time to assess. None of us can be effective when we arent our best. "What ifs", IMO, only further our distress. And if there was an easy answer to them, we wouldn't be here...
But....What can we do? I have felt somewhat better in consistently writing to congresspeople and senators on both sides of aisle, expressing my feelings. Truth be told, I've been completely saddened by my fellow citizens who chose this path. I'm working to reestablish my personal community so there are positive energetic people in my circle who can lift me up when I need it...and vice versa. A lot can happen, including another revolution... maybe we're pat time for that? I dont know and have no answers. But I do think self care is important now for the big effort we'll need to expend in the future... ✌️💙
I completely agree! And I am doing the same kinds of things you are. I know what Jay is saying too. Maybe I'm overreacting. I just see things rapidly--at lightning speed--deteriorating and I am desperate to stop the pain we're all facing.
Girl, I'm right there with you. I have had days I could barely get out of bed. The fear of losing Medicare and Social Security has kept me up at night. TOGETHER, we gotta make it!
How can these idiots be so cruel?!!! It's incomprehensible.
I run a lot of those what ifs in my head at 2:00 in the morning these days. I feel deeply afraid. But reflecting on Jay's comments, I am also very happy with the work I get to do where I help a lot of people and I'm happy with my family, not every moment lol. Maybe it's not either I ignore or I despair but something else
It is something else. You can't worry every minute. And Jay has a point to seize happiness where we can find it. But I do think we can't just close our eyes and sing "la la" for four years. People are going to suffer and it's all so unnecessary.
While the what ifs can help us prepare for what may come, that line of thinking can paralyze as well. When we’re paralyzed, we cease to be agents of our own futures and the future we seek for our country. The fear is real, and a normal response, but we cannot stay stuck there. My strategy is to just keep doing the work trusting that others in the progressive community will do the same. I ask myself everyday “What is the next right thing I can do right now to bring about the future I want for my family and country?” Whenever the what ifs crowd in, I go back to this question, and it works.
I actually do that too. Right now I am trying to help with fire prevention, mental health services, and backup power systems. That should keep me busy for a while. I identified three issues today and decided to work on them. This is pretty much how I normally do things. Whether I've made a difference I don't know but I keep trying.
Excellent questions Paula. Thank you for your post.
I no longer believe we can do anything to change what our current government does. There are few if any guardrails this time. Protests don’t work. Letters, emails, calls just get thrown in the round file or deleted. Why? They. Don’t. Care.
They will pass permanent massive tax cuts for themselves, for the 1% Club. They will do their best to cut Veteran’s Disability, veteran’s healthcare, Medicare, Medicaid, SNAP, school lunches and Social Security to little to nothing. How much they succeed remains to be seen but the intense constant stress these boastful claims and promises have caused cannot be ignored. Combine that stress with the futility of the old ways of convincing our Congressional Reps to watch out for everyone and you have a situation where they are fully in charge, don’t care about anyone not in the 1% Club, and are intent on carving up the country to get as much out of it as they can.
I’ve done everything everyone suggests and done so since 2016. Letters, emails, calls, postcards, donations. Look where we are.
If musk and trump have their way I will lose my veteran’s compensation and healthcare. Once I lose my income I will lose my house. Exactly what social programs does our society have that will help me stay in my home or at the least some place safe where I’m not jammed in with others and keep my cat with me while I try to figure out where to live that isn’t a homeless shelter? None.
I’m not advocating ignoring what is going on. But I am saying the old ways of trying to effect change don’t work. They are demoralizing because when you put time and energy into trying to effect change while hoping to keep your income and thus, shelter, food and healthcare and all you can do is watch the destruction and hear the constant hate, well…it’s exhausting.
Don’t tell me that “this attitude is exactly what they want and if you give up then they win”. I’ve got news for you - this attitude is reality and they already won.
We need to figure out how to take care of each other for the very basics of survival while trying to get through the destruction of everything we know.
I know exactly what you mean, Kasumii, and I don't know what to do either. There are more of us than them and yet I don't know how that's going to help us. I don't know what to say except that I fervently hope these worst-case scenarios don't come to pass. Why 77 million Americans sold us out with no compunction I will never understand.
Dr. Santos also has an excellent course on "The Science of Well-Being". https://online.yale.edu/courses/science-well-being