Just for Xeets and Giggles

The week kicked off with an another indictment watch as the Georgia grand jurors were asked to stay past 5pm on Monday, the reporters were told to grab dinner, and the last of the witnesses, originally scheduled for the following day, came in to testify. It had all the trappings of a political nail biter.

It was hard to miss the significance of the moment.

And the moment was definitely laden with delicious irony.

Speaking of irony, when it became clear to everyone with a sense of it that Hillary Clinton was scheduled that very evening to appear on the Rachel Maddow show, the internet lit itself on fire.

The woman who should have been our president took things in stride and got in some good ones.

Even though she was very respectful mostly somber about the news, Republicans were furious that Hillary dared to laugh and joke in their time of sorrow.

The nation took its first real, collective close-up look at the woman who might bring down Agent Orange, District Attorney Fani Willis of Fulton County, Georgia.

This being the fourth Trump indictment, the opportunity for commentary around that was rich.

As was the fact that this made 91 felony indictments against a former U.S. president.

It was also a time to reflect on how we got here in the first place.

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This next one hit hard, if you remember that Correspondents’ Dinner with Trump in attendance.

It was a time to also think about the other crimey grimeys in Trump’s circle who’d been indicted and hit with a RICO charge, like Rudy Giuliani.

And Mark Meadows.

I think she meant Chris Christie, who caught Covid from Trump, but who knows who else the ex-president infected. Maybe a bleach injection would help?

The ex-president’s allies in Congress did their best to rally to his side for a fourth time, but the act was getting old, and the tea was very hot at this party.

With 18 other defendants named in the conspiracy to overturn the election in Georgia, there was now a big question about their future accommodations.

So many losers around Trump, this had to be said:

She was probably the only one he ever fully paid, too. Which of course landed him with indictments in NY state, womp womp.

On the subject of his actual arrest, folks had thoughts. Here was the best one IMHO:

Speaking of ex-presidents, following the horrific fire in Maui, somehow the right managed to pin a conspiracy on Barack Obama.

This ranks up there with his birth, which also happened in Hawaii. There was just one very obvious problem with this wacko theory:

Speaking of natural disasters and people the right love to hate, there is a hurricane barreling toward (checks notes) Baja and Southern California. Welcome to the new climate normal. It’s called Hurricane Hillary, and while I don’t mean to make light of a serious situation, this popped into my feed and I had to share it. Click here to watch her path.

Excellent political commentary soon followed.

Don Jr. weighed in on his father’s problems, as he should probably never do, and folks had to report a murder.

Poor Ivana. The grass is always greener I guess.

Oh, and speaking of plots for the deceased…

This next tweet is a candidate for best play in three lines (resurfaced by the internet from 2019)

The culture wars continued to flare, but here was a double bomb dropped on the gender critical crowd.

Elon Musk continues to be in line for Douchebag of the Century. He decided his X logo needed to look cool, so he roughed it up a little…like an old poster?

Okay, animal fun time!

As someone with three siblings, I can so relate to this. Click here to watch.

While we’re on the subject of cross-species friendship…

A guy once tried this on a date with me, and it didn’t go over well. Maybe turtles like it? Here’s the video:

Here’s Surya Bonaly if she were a pigeon. Click here to flip out over the video.

Things were a bit chaotic for our business and in my life generally the past month, but this panda-monium summed it up well and provided a welcome laugh. Click here to watch.

How do they ever survive in the wild? It’s a mystery.

Finding order in chaos is a theme for me, so this helpful video is my PSA for the week. Click here to watch:

I’m going to practice this until I get it down.

Speaking of beautiful order and hours of practice, this art on a spinning pottery wheel had me mesmerized. Click here to join me in hypnosis.

I don’t really know how to describe this video, other than this guy finds a new superpower, so you just have to watch it here:

Nature showed off its moves this week, too. Here’s something new to me: volcano lightning! Click here for the show.

Also, and in relation to nothing at all, who knew the ending of the Lord of the Rings would be so unintentionally funny in Swedish? Click here to see how it goes, and I challenge you not to laugh.

To round things out for the week, there’s this poor guy…

Here’s a fun prank: When ordering at Starbucks, give your name as “Primrose Everdeen” and then when they call your name, shout “I volunteer as tribute!”

10 points if you get the Hunger Games reference.

Back in my prankster days, I once gave my name as “Mussolini” to a barista in Berkeley. My friends rolled their eyes. Then when the poor woman who made my drink called my name, she struggled saying it aloud. “Musso—“ She stopped, collecting herself and trying not to laugh, then tried again. “Muss—“ She covered her mouth giggling.

I walked to the counter and looked very seriously at her and said, “Are you laughing at my name?”

“I’m…so sorry,” she said, still laughing.

“It’s okay. Blame my parents,” I said, as my friends all tried to hide.

Have a great Saturday! And if this collection brought a smile to your face, you can bring a smile to mine by upgrading to a paid subscription—but only if you’ve been meaning to and it’s in your budget. This newsletter is now somewhat alarmingly my sole source of income (thanks Douchebag of the Century!), but I’m so very thankful for all the love and support I’ve received here.

Jay