Just for Xeets and Giggles (01.21.24)

The week in politics began with the Iowa primaries.

Ron DeSantis, who threw tens of millions of dollars at the state and criss-crossed it multiple times, still looked like he might not even come in a strong second. This was one of my favorite moments at the end of the campaign, clip courtesy of a set of progressive comedians.

Donald Trump still made headlines as he urged even sick supporters to turn out for him, even at the risk of their own deaths.

Trump finally turned to attack Vivek Ramaswamy, from whom he hoped to pull some far-right support.

When voting got underway, it was hard not to notice how lax election security was. In fact, it was completely non-existent, as this video shows.

To no one’s surprise, Trump won with some 51 percent of the vote. But this number has to be seen in perspective.

The conspiracy theorists, like Marjorie Three Names, were out in force.

The results saw Ramaswamy place fourth and finally drop out of the race. The autopsy was brutal.

Not long afterwards, Ramaswamy predictably endorsed Trump.

Nikki Haley placed a disappointing third place, just behind DeSantis. But unlike DeSantis, she did manage to win one out of the 99 Iowa counties.

In other news, Trump was back on trial, this time for defaming writer E. Jean Carroll. People noticed something pretty quickly about his lawyer, Alina Habba, who just last week said she’d rather be pretty than smart…because she could fake being smart.

Apparently, faking it doesn’t work in federal court. Here were some choice exchanges as she argued Trump’s defense before Judge Lewis Kaplan:

Things didn’t improve much during the course of her performance.

Evidence 101? Anyone?

It quickly became clear that Habba was out of her league and not the sharpest tool in the shed.

And it seemed clear that whatever defense that was, it’s unlikely to sway the jury, which is assessing how much compensatory and punitive damages Trump should pay.

As Trump left the trial, he held his hand up to the crowd, and folks noticed something a bit disturbing.

The Twitter commentary was…blistering.

Perhaps it’s a sore subject for MAGA?

People predicted Trump’s response.

As well as the disease’s…

And props for this find:

By the time folks were focused on New Hampshire, the question of whether syphilis had affected Trump’s brain was inevitable, especially after this happened:

Nikki Haley as Nancy Pelosi? Let’s spin this out…

And this iconic moment just had to be shopped:

The humor was *chef’s kiss*

And like Carrie Bradshaw, we couldn’t help but wonder:

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Our national obsession with football has been getting a dose of celebrity with Taylor Swift there to cheer on her boyfriend Travis Kelce, even through this weather.

Speaking of the cold…

The Dallas Cowboys managed to fail at the outset of the playoffs, once more. Watch the clip here.

This week in animals had some epic ones. There’s this cat with its entrance:

Then this bird said Toucan play at the entrance game:

We should call these two the Spin Dogtors. Watch them go here.

I don’t know if this is a true story, but that answer!

This video is your feel good moment of the week:

This “clip” made the rounds again. Sound on for this, but not too high!

This human represents 2024 pretty well.

And really, did the parents go too far here or nah?

I could watch this video for hours. Simply mathmerizing.

Always ask if the mic and camera are live! This video is a cautionary tale.

I leave you with a dad joke, the kind that might crow on you.

Have a great weekend!

Jay