Just for Xeets and Giggles (03.30.24)

The presidential campaign for Joe Biden has kicked into high gear. On top of making 18 visits to swing states and hosting a record-breaking fundraiser with former presidents Clinton and Obama, all since Biden’s stellar State of the Union address, his campaign took on a more aggressive, punch-back style that has many Democrats cheering.

Give their social media team a raise…

The Biden v. Trump match-up is starting to gel into some pretty funny political commentary.

Following news that Elon Musk made a trip to South Florida, probably to meet with Trump, folks imagined the conversations.

Meanwhile, Trump’s financial squeeze from the dual judgments against him and the fast bleed from attorneys’ fees produced impressive internet fodder.

There was this nickname…

That humor accounts ran with…

Perhaps the most 2024 moment came when Trump announced he would be selling a special All-American Bible for $60.

An explosion of excellent commentary naturally followed.

Some comparisons were in order…

Trump’s autograph appears in a scribble on the first few pages…

Then it was time to bring on the memes!

This actually made me laugh aloud.

There were some fan readings from the new book…

And you can’t really say “Trump” and “Bible” in the same sentence without this gem resurfacing from Sarah Cooper. Watch it again here; it’s totally a classic.

Trump actually did go ahead and compare himself to Jesus during this holiest of weeks, so SNL had to weigh in. This impersonation is just so good, and a great script to go along with it! Watch here.

Oh and with all the talk about embryonic personhood, getting rid of IVF, and abortion bans in the works, we need to make this clear:

Pledge break! I feel like NPR!

This being an election year, it’s fair to ask whether we are better off than four years ago. Republicans are very touchy about this subject, even accusing Democrats of making things up. “It wasn’t bleach! It was disinfectant!” is about where they landed.

Okay, let’s roll the tape for yet another classic moment.

The House Republicans are in disarray again and have to deal with a motion to vacate filed by Marjorie Three Toes (Q-GA), putting MAGA Mike Johnson, who passed a budget with Democratic votes, at risk of losing his job. I’ve lost the narrative, but I’m not alone.

The dust-up of the week goes to NBC News for making the brilliant move to hire former RNC Chair, election denialist and alleged co-conspirator to overturn the will of the Michigan voters, Ronna Romney McDaniel, as a paid contributor. (Yes, she is the niece of Sen. Mitt Romney (Real R-UT), but Trump made her drop the Romney part from her name, true story.)

The pushback was immediate and devastating.

Cue the comparisons.

When McDaniel went on Meet the Press and lied (again) about the election, and explained that sometime she had to “take one for the team” (meaning her party, not America), even former host Chuck Todd found a backbone and called out his own network for making the hire. Other anchors weighed in, and within days Ms. Romney McDaniel was out the door and threatening to sue.

On the need to maintain integrity at NBC News, Asha Rangappa for the kill shot.

Elon Musk had stupid opinions, per usual. And got shut down, per usual.

(Don Lemon lasted less than a Scaramucci after challenging the world’s richest man-baby about his censorship practices.)

Speaking of horrible women we’d all like to see less not more of…

Nope, can’t unsee it.

In other news, tragedy struck as a container ship lost power and plowed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore, killing six migrant workers from Central America. Somehow, because we’re stuck in the stupid timeline, this accident turned into a conspiracy, driven by right wing troll accounts with millions of followers.

Because this involves motorized transport, the bruhs were out in force with theories.

There is simply no way that a ship could take out a bridge! Let me write a 96 part thread on why…

It got sillier and nastier from there. Apparently, every accident today (Boeing door flying off, ship hitting bridge) is because companies have (checks notes) diversity, equity and inclusion policies, or DEI.

This was a real tweet from a big troll account.

Wait, what’s a DEI mayor? Do they just mean Black and can’t say that or the n-word anymore?

Perfection in the response:

DEI is the new CRT, so it’s now everywhere!

Animals don’t have silly human things like racism, so let’s enjoy some moments with them. Though they do look awfully silly sometimes! This clip, for example:

I am obsessed with this dog getting a bath.

When you’ve got something to say, don’t let anxiety give you paws.

In humans acting like animal news, Diddy’s home in SoCal was raided, and there are now allegations of decades of sexual assaults and other disturbing behavior.

Can’t stop giggling over picturing this…

Nor can I stop picturing this lol:

This one is for you history geeks:

On this poll, Gen X would like a word.

Here’s the best PSA I’ve seen in a while:

And here’s an earworm for your day. (And speaking of drinking, we actually drunk sang the below song in a karaoke room last night at the top of our lungs, which was somehow cathartic.)

On the subject of giving an earful…

This one is for those of you who, like me, can’t ever get rid of such things.

And I really want to sit this person down, given it was just National Trans Awareness Day, but I doubt it would do much good.

I leave you with your dad joke of the week, to send you groaning and smiling into your weekend!

Have a good one!

Jay