Just for Xeets and Giggles (05.18.24)

The ex-president held a rally in New Jersey, bragging publicly that he will be able to flip the state. (Narrator: He lost New Jersey by 16 points in 2020; he won’t flip it in 2024.)

He also bragged that there were 100,000 people in attendance. When images showed this was a wild overestimation, his allies began posting “evidence.”

Notice anything about that beach? So did George Conway.

Here’s what that really was.

This brought on some more on point responses.

In Manhattan, Michael Cohen took the stand in much anticipated testimony. What wasn’t anticipated was how the cross-examination would start.

In an embarrassing sidebar, the judge wondered why Blanche was making this about himself. George Conway again with the excellent analysis:

Outside the courtroom, Trump’s acolytes gathered to do his dirty business for him. Apparently, they were filming a new movie, Everything, Everywhere, All the Same.

Or perhaps this movie:

Best mistake of the moment goes to perennial foot-in-mouth Vivek Ramaswamy. Here’s Stephen Colbert with the takedown.

The opportunity for a photo bomb couldn’t be passed up.

JoJo > BoeBoe…

If you missed it, Joe Biden accepted Donald Trump’s challenge to debate. Here the clip. That last line lol—very Dark Brandon.

Commentary poured in about how the debate would proceed.

Someone thought this up:

My fav Andy Borowitz bringing it all together for us:

Trump did actually attend his son’s graduation, which he probably wasn’t planning on doing until he sought to score points against Judge Merchan, who promptly said, “Sure, go attend, I’m sure it will be memorable for both of you.”

There’s persistent doubt that a privileged white person like Trump should ever see the inside of a jail cell for committing an even whiter collar crime, even if convicted. Still, it wouldn’t be unprecedented.

Rep. Jim McGovern (D-MA) earns honorable mention for this jab:

Down the river, a controversy erupted when the Times reported a story that should have come out three years ago. At the home of Justice Samuel Alito and his wife Martha-Ann Alito, six days after the January 6, 2021 attack on the Capitol, an upside down “Stop the Steal” associated flag flew, reportedly for a few days.

As many noted following Alito’s explanation of the incident,

This comment was 🔥

If you’re counting, that’s the second Justice who apparently has an insurrectiony spouse. Martha-Ann is stealing your spotlight, Ginni!

Many, including me, doubted the logic and sincerity of the underlying story.

I’m gonna use this pic for Alito from now on.

The bloodsucking undead are rumored to hang upside down while resting. Huh.

Hey hey! Is today the day? Become a paid supporter of my work and help me devote my days to spreading the laughs along with political and legal analysis you won’t get from the mainstream media.

A certain billionaire writer of children’s stories has a big problem with trans women in female spaces. And a problem with providing gender affirming care to trans youth. Others have taken note.

I’m glad people are finally mocking her odd obsession.

Speaking of famous people behaving horribly, there’s that kicker from the Chiefs who told a graduating class that women should go back to the kitchen. No, really, he did. Folks had thoughts on that. Click the GIFs to watch.

This was my fav:

There were some random things happening in the UK news lately…

And speaking of random, or maybe not so random,

Dark humor abounds! Time for some cleansing animal moments.

This little girl and this dolphin should do. Watch the clip here.

Take a gander at this parade.

Speaking of groups of birds, what’s a bunch of flamingos acting conspiratorially called?

I wanted to jump up on the bed and cheer after watching this success story.

Sometime this week, it was 5/11 and this woman came for guys everywhere.

The Northern Lights happened this week way south of where they should. They even happened in NY, but then I’d have to drive pretty far from the city and…

The Mt. St. Helen’s Twitter account weighed in.

This was perhaps the funniest thing to happen to hopeful watchers.

I’d ask my dog this question, too:

Speaking of men acting weird, this encounter might just take the cake. I don’t even know where to start.

I love this report from Paris:

But this from the UK was even better:

Here’s a PSA for more books and libraries:

This humor is so elevated I need a parachute:

Time to bring it back down to dad joke level.

Too cucumbersome?

Have a great weekend!

Jay