Just for Xeets and Giggles (05.25.24)

Justice Samuel Alito let his freak flag fly on not one but two occasions, and over not one but two houses he owns. Folks had a lot to say about this insurrectiony member of the nation’s High Court. Everyone that is, but the Chief Justice.

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The New York Times tried its spin and got corrected quickly.

Historian Michael Beschloss even got in on the moment.

He’s referring of course to how Justice Alito initially blamed his wife Martha-Ann for the first flag, which is so on brand. She apparently was upset by a neighbor’s yard sign containing a Trump expletive.

Cartoonist David Pepper with the dunk:

And next up, the NYT Pitchbot:

Of course, the “my wife did it” excuse doesn’t explain the “appeal to heaven” Christian Nationalist overthrow-the-government-by-violence flag that flew proudly about the Alitos’ vacation home in New Jersey in 2023.

This captured my own thoughts well:

Apologists for Alito tried to explain that the cute little pine tree on the flag was innocuous, even historically significant. Yeah, no.

This next one made me laugh despite the horror of it all.

The Daily Show had a segment worth watching in full. It just builds and builds. Excellent.

Oh, and lest we forget about our other coup-adjacent Justice…

Here’s a takedown of Elon Musk, just for being the d-bag with the worst takes.

In other news, there was a Trump rally, again, in a state Trump won’t win, again. I’m not sure what the strategy is, but the execution is rather painful.

For the record, this is not to body shame Trump. It is to question his mental fitness and his vision and eye health.

Trump again claimed wildly high numbers of attendees at his Bronx rally. This is not, for example, 25,000 people. And he is already on stage.

Trump also shared an ad in that, in the faint background, called for a “Unified Reich.” Nothing to see here, folks.

Perhaps it’s folly to make light of this, but I’m going to share some levity anyway.

This is a good visual aid:

Trump also claimed the FBI search of Mar-a-Lago was intended somehow to take him out because it authorized the use of deadly force, as is standard on all warrants. He emailed his followers to fundraise off it, claiming he “nearly escaped death.” Ummm… so…. you’re dead? Congrats?

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I got some feedback last week that I should have included the exchange between Reps. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Moscow), which gave us such a memorable, alliterative phrase.

In case you can’t solve the puzzle, The Lorax is here to speak for the trees, and the rest of us, too:

What’s sometimes wonderful about the Internet is that it breaks into spontaneous composition and song. This was a chart topper from the Country Music sector:

And from the rap and hip hop world, this Megan Thee Stallion remix:

In other MAGA world news, Rudy Giuliani is hawking (checks notes) coffee these days.

Maybe that what was was running down his face, not hair dye?

The House MAGA-ites came for Attorney General Merrick Garland, and he showed he had a pretty decent sense of humor himself.

The blowback from Harrison Butker’s get-back-in-the-kitchen and how-dare-you-call-it-pride speech continued. Some folks reminded him of those pesky college rumors, and then others took it next level.

That probably came out of this moment, which is super gaydjacent.

This wins for best mash-up with a vintage tweet:

Buttkis—I mean, Butker’s supporters proved they need to football less and read more.

And women were on the case when the Chiefs teased their schedule release on social media. Here’s a peek at just a few comments.

Across the Pond, things were going about as well as usual for the Tories. Here’s PM Rishi Sunak, announcing elections for July, and Mother Nature responding.

From Twitter’s top men’s style critic:

I sense a trouncing is in the making.

Speaking of Great Britain, this narration was top notch and had me laughing from the get go. Strong Emily Blunt The Devil Wears Prada vibes.

For the long weekend, keep this bunny in mind and get in some great R&R (Resting Rabbit):

Or just think about this bird and stress out.

Doggo here wants what he wants…

Ask a dumb question…

Speaking of silly humans, I have no idea how he came up with this but it’s gold.

I submit this for best RomCom moment:

In absolute peak silliness, I present the Oreo guy,

We haven’t done photoshop requests in a while, so here’s a smattering. This young lady wanted the number to be the right way.

That pesky car in the background!

And he asked to look more like a hero.

Sometimes it’s better not to try and guess in front of a national television audience. Watch the clip, sound on.

An ear worm for your weekend, courtesy of Ruth Buzzi.

And since we’re all goofy now and looking forward to the long weekend (I am off both tomorrow and Monday for the holiday!), a modern day dad joke:

Have a great and restful weekend!

Jay