Just for Xeets and Giggles (06.08.24)

The aftermath of the guilty verdict created a lot of things: a round of friendly media Trump interviews; polling that said “the verdict matters, no wait it doesn’t, or maybe it does”; and of course some excellent meme-age.

Here’s a question I had about the defense’s story throughout the whole trial:

There were plays on Trump’s new status:

Even for his wife:

And this was inevitable when you think about it:

This one made me chuckle aloud. I really detest this woman, so I’m still laughing while copy and pasting this response.

Speaking of copying and pasting, I might just play this game, even if it’s repetitive.

We’re all looking ahead to the day when he’s gone, but some have bigger plans.

Filed under “other welcome news,” Mark Meadows was arraigned on charges in Arizona related to the 2020 election.

More welcome news: Steve Bannon is going to prison on July 1. Serial fabulist and now indicted former Congressman George Santos chiming in makes this even funnier.

And for some companies, associating with the MAGA GOP just isn’t worth it.

Speaking of MAGA, George Clooney made a video about rampant dumbfuckery that you all need to see.

Over in Congress, the unhinged lunacy of the GOP was overshadowed for a moment by this little guy. Watch the clip here. He was actually all of us, as his GOP father’s speech continued.

I move that every GOP lawmaker have this boy in the background playing as they talk. Here’s an example from the office of Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-FL) showing how wonderfully appropriate that would be.

Speaking of representatives who really know how to own Republicans, I give you Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) with this zinger.

Sometimes there’s no need to own the extremists because they do it so well themselves.

Think about it Michaels27✝️. We’ll wait.

Meanwhile, another trial—this time of the President’s son—got started concerning another “paperwork” crime of false statements on a gun application, but somehow it all must be part of a bigger Democratic plot.

Speaking of sons of U.S. presidents…

And just like that, we’re at the pledge break! This is where I thank my paid supporters and at least two of you decide today’s the day to upgrade to a paid account if you haven’t already!

There’s a weird asterisk to the Trump trial that frothed and hopefully died over the past 24 hours. It takes a bit of explaining, so we’ll start with the news reports of it here:

Now, that of course would be very disturbing if true, and of course Fox ran with it and breathlessly reported about a possible mistrial.

But within under 10 minutes this got debunked and hard.

The gold medal for “professional shit poster” of course goes to the man with the golden toilet himself. But MAGA folks are now trained to believe almost anything that appears online. And the commenter “Michael Anderson” had to come clean, too.

But Anderson might be in a world of trouble now…

And this spoke volumes about the right-wing media reaction machine and the GOP.

To our south, Mexico elected its first woman president, who is also its first Jewish president. That’s big news, but MAGA chose to focus on something entirely different:

Here’s more on that:

The convo about men vs. bears got an uplift after a news report of a bear killing a woman in California. Other professional shitposter and Elon Musk fanboy Ian Miles Cheong predictably jumped on the story.

Lately, it seems conservatives can’t seem to stop punching themselves in the face politically. Here’s the latest brilliant move from The Federalist, which decided to attack (checks notes) Dolly Parton.

This is correct and should be taught in political science courses:

Making the point crystal clearly:

I have a bunch of Pride funnies coming up, but this is a winning combo for the politics section:

Before we get to the Pride section, it’s animal fun time!

This clip should inspire all of us just to be ourselves.

I’m not sure what’s going on here exactly, but it’s rather adorable as described.

There’s a picture of this cat and this table next to “foiled” in the dictionary.

This is how that cat probably feels right now:

My sister’s dog Bao looks just like this fella. And gets just as excited.

This next side-by-side is almost like kermitting a copyright violation.

Here’s a NO cat, just, well, because.

Oh, do me next! Me next!

Okay, everyone stand. Here comes the Pride.

I got strong MA vibes from this next post:

I’m going to start using this phrase:

Ani DiFranco is in currently starring in our show Hadestown on Broadway, and her voice is on the original concept recording, so I really love this:

There’s pride and there’s prejudice:

I need to issue a retraction and an apology. This man (whom I did not identify by name but whom I featured in a video last week) should be cleared of all internet charges. I wish him well.

Speaking of unique moments captured on video, I used to love The Price Is Right as a kid and would live for moments like this one:

Some of these billionaires really think they’re indestructible. Love this hot take:

You don’t often see commercials as frank and funny as this one:

Check out their expressions. Priceless.

Took me three seconds to put this one together. Ruh-roh!

Back in the day, I was on the show Curb Appeal on HGTV with my then-partner, and our budget for a home facelift was really quite modest. These days…

I’m sending you off with a combination dad joke and earworm.

Have a great weekend!

— Jay