Just for Xeets and Giggles (10.19.24)

It’s crunch time for the election, so that means deep breaths, determination… and some well deserved laughs!

Donald Trump seems off his game lately. And his orange foundation seemed to reflect it.

This woman is all of us.

Slow clap for this remark.

This is what happens when all the gay people abandon the GOP.

Barack Obama hit the campaign trail, and he made a crack about Trump probably never having changed a diaper in his life. “His own!” someone shouted. Obama chuckled, said he wasn’t going to say it. Inquiring minds want to know:

The res-pun-ses were everywhere, it seems.

This billboard made itself famous for revealing the need for better education. Spelling is hard for MAGA, I know.

Where has the boarder run off to now?! Better secure him!

It was another week of Trump making zero sense and the NYT trying to help us speak Trumpanzese. Cartoonist Mike Luckovich for the dunk.

Then there was this golden moment at a gathering of MAGA faithful in Oaks, Pennsylvania, where 45 gave up answering questions and decided to put on his playlist for an awkwardly long time.

Jimmy Kimmel put together a two-minute best moments reel of the playlist party. It’s really everyone else’s reactions in the room that are priceless.

Here’s a close-up on this guy. He’s every Trump voter with at least neurons to fire together.

It was starting to feel like Trump was barely hanging on to his marbles.

How many moments like that can the country endure if he wins the election?

But how to explain this frankly bizarre and troubling behavior by the GOP candidate for president? Ah, there we go, Wall Street Journal!

We couldn’t let this lie, right? These two had the same thought, different vessels.

Keep it going!

Trump also went before a hand-picked audience of women on Fox, where he could just relax before a friendly crowd and not make it awkward. Right? The Daily Show covered that.

But hey, he put on a brave naranja face and went before undecided Latino voters to plead his case! That went well, right?

But maybe he impressed the ladies? Roll the clip.

At least he went to the Al Smith dinner in New York City, right? Wait, is it Al like Albert or A-I like artificial intelligence? Well, see for yourself lol.

Since Trump loves to talk about Silence of the Lambs, a PSA:

Pledge break! I’m working hard to bring you up to date on news and data on the election, along with a bit of levity each week to break things up! If I’ve lowered your blood pressure through my work, consider supporting this newsletter with a paid subscription! And thanks to all of you who have stepped up already!

Later, Trump started cancelling appearances, on top of backing out of the debate and the time-honored 60 Minutes candidate interview. He bailed on CBNC, NBC, the NRA, and halfway through a podcast with Dan Bongino. He was “exhausted,” according to reports.

Kamala Harris, on the other hand, showed no signs of fatigue, and she even walked directly into the fire by appearing on Fox for a sit down with Trump propagandist Bret Baier. Now that’s fearlessness!

You’ve probably heard by now about all the Baier traps he’d set. Luckovich again FTW.

Commentator Alex Cole brought the fire.

He wasn’t finished.

Never think you can take on a seasoned prosecutor like Harris in a Q&A. I should know, she was my boss back in SF.

And can we just talk about what’s happening on the right?

There’s talk of Harris going on Joe Rogan next. It’s almost like agreeing to go on Hot Ones, but instead of hot sauce it’s increasingly cholesterol-inducing mayonnaise. Here’s how that might go:

SNL took some swipes at both sides this weekend, but ours is the one capable of laughing at ourselves.

And Dave Bautista, using the language of toxic masculinity that MAGA actually understands, ripped Trump apart with his bare hands. Yes, there is some body shaming here, but for me it’s sort of like outing homophobic politicians. If they open the door, they shouldn’t complain when it smacks them in the ass when they get kicked through it.

Here’s the ad if you missed it:

Wait, where did JD Vance go this week? Oh, here he is.

Marjorie Taylor Greene began exposing herself—to litigation that is, whew—as she falsely claimed that Dominion voting machines in Georgia were swapping votes for Trump to Harris. Elon Musk also started spreading election denialist conspiracies, and yes, he would make a great target for Dominion’s lawyers.

Here’s something that has never made sense:

Speaking of Musk, he unveiled another vehicle that made me sigh, and not in a good way.

His lap dog at Twitter, CEO Linda Yaccarino, tried to cheerlead him on. It got shut down quickly.

Okay, enough about her. Let’s talk about much better pets!

Here are doggos getting caught in the act. (TikTok version here.)

I do love these voiceovers.

I had to do a trouble-take with this one.

This was a near perfect moment captured.

’Tis the season, and we’re not done with Moo Deng.

And yes, I have a costume this year for Windsor, so stay tuned.

As proof that animals are often smarter than humans…

Perfect. No notes.

“Sweetie, do we have to go to the game again?”

I don’t eat land animals but still chuckled.

Also, 6’3” pool boy bitch? Paging Jerry Falwell, Jr.!

I felt vindicated at last by this next one.

Math is a universal language, as evidenced by this performance. (Best to view as a FB story on mobile.)

I am a huge fan of the show and this is 100% correct.

Speaking of weird English things,

The talented Ariana Grande showed she can act as well as she sings. This was spot on.

Someone caught this moment and I’m ☠️

This hit me in my ’90s feels.

Try not to hear that in Yoda’s voice.

This sign has me wondering, too.

I do this, too, but am not sure why.

An earworm for you:

And per tradition, here’s a Dad joke to send you out with.

Shrimp? Maybe they mean shellfishness?

Have a great one!

Jay