Just for Xeets and Giggles (10.21.23)

There was, pardon the expression, a crapload of news this week. The theme of the week, I believe, is “pleaded.” Jim Jordan pleaded three times for his conference to make him their king. Sidney Powell pleaded to six charges in exchange for spilling the tea on her co-defendants in Georgia. And then, right on cue, Kenneth “The Cheese” Chesebro pleaded to a felony in exchange for the same.

Jim Jordan picked up some support from the once-considered-moderate, now-considered-cookoo wing.

But as it became clear that the holdouts would hold out, the memes flew fast and with precision.

A minus here, as there are actually no ADULT Republicans. The Lincoln Project came in to burn and brand…

Jordan, famous for looking away when terrible things are happening right in front of him, told folks to stop attacking each other… after spending the weekend watching his allies attack the holdouts, including credible death threats from the MAGA crazies. The satirical Jack Smith account had some thoughts.

Jordan of course failed three times in a row, and then it went to a secret ballot where they voted overwhelmingly to un-nominate him. Shows what they really thought about him when they could say so in private. With Jordan being an unrepentant election denier, the jokes wrote themselves.

For you political nerds out there, this gem:

Republicans tried to blame Democrats for their dysfunction, but they just got laughed at for it. I mean, come on.

And in the end, Jordan never did get to be Speaker.

In fact, the whole of the GOP saga to date can be explained in a short video. This is *chef’s kiss* perfect, no notes. Watch here.

The House adjourned for the weekend, marking the third week where the GOP has failed to elect a Speaker while the world spins into multiple crises.

Turning to Georgia briefly, Sidney Powell flipped hard on Thursday…

Then Kenneth Chesebro followed suit on Friday…

Of course, this one made multiple rounds in various forms.

In other Trump legal news, an appraiser testified that someone used his name for years without him knowing…

Ruh-roh.

As the cases pile up, Trump is getting weirder and more incoherent, and he’s saying from pretty strange things and slurring his speech badly. This clip from The Daily Show took the critique to the next level by flipping the damn script. Bravo.

In world events he knows nothing about, Trump actually praised Hezbollah for being “very smart.” And so SNL had to weigh in. Watch the clip here.

A clearly mentally deteriorating Trump also said that “Republicans eat their young.” He said it more that once. Watch here.

And now it disturbingly makes sense… Just where was George Santos running off to with that baby?!

That same account was on fire. I know we’re not supposed to mock people for their looks, but this just had to be pointed out.

Uncanny.

Speaking of not making fun of people for their appearance, it was clear that the chair being used by the speaker pro tempore would lead to mean jokes about his size, so they understandably swapped it out. I appreciated this take:

In other lectern-related news, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the governor of Arkansas, is in a heap of trouble over trying to cover what could be personal expenses through the purchase of a $19,000 lectern. Whoops! That’s a crime, if true.

Hoodlum again with the takedown.

That account pulled a hat trick for me this week, bravo!

The animal theme this week, since I’m finding myself missing my own doggo, is… doggos!

One emotion dogs definitely display is guilt. My step-doghter Cleo has this same face and can’t make eye contact with me when she’s been bad… watch here.

Here is your moment of awwww.

This super fan doggo has me cheering and laughing all at once. Watch here.

For the cat lovers (including me) out there, here’s one. My cat Shade is the former, for the record.

And wow, these canaries don’t seem real. Or at least they seem from, like, the ’70s. Watch the clip here.

Here’s a perfect caption for this penguin moment. Watch here.

I found a few clips of humans doing amazing things. I could watch this dancer for hours.

As someone who regularly drops his phone on his own damn face in bed when scrolling and dozing off, I kinda need this.

I don’t know if this is real, but it is indeed crazy. Watch here. Is it comical… or conical?

Speaking of humans being kinda terrible but hilarious…

I leave you with a dad joke to send you into your Saturday with a groan. It’s also for you chemistry fans.

Oh, and BIG news! I’m expanding with a new Instagram page! I will be reaching younger folks there with new video content (but don’t worry, I’ll still do my daily newsletter here.) I’m buying a home video set up and hiring a part-time editor. This all costs a bit, but you can help out by becoming a paid supporter. It all goes toward educating and motivating Millennials and Gen Z! To help with the launch, upgrade with 20 percent off and celebrate my IG expansion!

Have a great weekend!

Jay