Just for Xeets and Giggles (10.26.24)

We’re well into the final two laps of the Election, and since most of us are quite anxious…

…it helps to step back and laugh at some of the truly absurd moments this very silly timeline has wrought.

Donald Trump’s closing arguments are going well.

One of the indications of increased dementia is a decreased ability to filter. And right on cue, Trump talked publicly about Arnold Palmer’s genitalia.

Sarah Longwell of The Bulwark, gentlepeeps.

Jon Favreau displayed his creative chops, too.

Not to be outdong, Josh Marshall from Talking Points Memo, folks.

Sadly, I fear she is right:

So we might as well push this as far as it will go, right? Oh look, it’s Four Seasons Total Landscaping! One of my favorite things to come out of the 2020 election. Roll the clip. (Note: all videos links are to Twitter unless otherwise specified.)

The late great Palmer perhaps would have a few things to say.

I’d say caption this but someone beat me to it.

Perhaps Stormy Daniels would have some thoughts?

Or Melania?

Trump has been wearing so much make-up lately that Harris had to at least say something foundational.

As if the “golf” was not big enough (ahem) between normal and weird, Trump did something he never did: cooked and served some fries at a McDonald’s. It started about as well as you’d expect.

Folks had thoughts.

Some places like a man with solid convictions.

Another take on that, in meme form:

Trump’s actual preparation of the fries made this aspiring chef wince.

For the fans of the show out there:

Catty as ever, Larry.

The internet is ruthless and I love it.

When it came time to “serve,” so did Keith Olbermann with the shade.

Babe, wake up. They’re rolling out a new happy meal.

Then it turned out the McDonald’s wasn’t actually open to the public, and all of the “customers” were plants from the campaign. Very on brand.

Otherwise put,

The whole thing wound up being ridiculous and proof that Kamala Harris is serving Mickey Dees fries rent free in Trump’s head.

If she could get him to do that, what was next?

Ugh, the visual.

Or how about this?

Take us home, Mrs. Betty Bowers!

The whole fry cook episode really was cringeworthy.

But maybe it was all for a good cause?

The franchise that closed down for the day to offer Trump this comedic tragedy received some customer reviews.

McDonald’s was already doing damage control with its brand when news of a bacterial outbreak from bad quarter pounders hit.

Think of all those people who went to McDonald’s that day in solidarity with Trump.

Later in the week, we reached the point where Hitler entered the race. But not in the expected way; it was Trump’s former Chief of Staff finally giving interviews to the press about how Trump was a fascist and thought Hitler “did some good things.”

The right screamed about it, but really this is what happened.

Butter emails?

Trump’s newest lie is that schools, which can barely afford books and supplies, are giving free and sudden sex change operations to students without their parents’ knowledge.

The best response to this kind of stupidity is humor.

It’s unclear whether Trump actually believes some story he read on the internet, whether he made it up to scare his gullible base, or whether he is just that dumb.

Hey hey! I get that the election is scary, and that might be causing new paid supporters to fall off the cliff a bit. If you value what I bring to the table, let me know with a small donation every month to support my efforts! And if you’re already a supporter, you get a virtual hug from me today!

Back to our silly politics! The man who looks like No. 2 these days is campaigning in Pennsylvania for Trump, and per Tim Walz, is prancing and leaping around like a dipshit.

The Spirit Store offering was inevitable.

No way I’m ever buying a Tesla.

With the election just around the corner, people are truly starting to get subtle in their bumper stickers.

Infuriatingly, some of the billionaire-owned major papers are not being very subtle, with Jeff Bezos instructing WaPo not to endorse anyone this year, despite the editors having written one up for Harris already.

I want to keep this light and not get angry on a weekend, so I’ll leave it at this.

Fox “News” was having trouble figuring out who was fighting whom, which is understandable given that its own anchors have their heads up their asses.

While Harris wowed with Beyoncé in Houston before a record crowd of 30,000, there was this entertainment at the Trump rally. As someone who has sat through many bad vocal auditions, this was admittedly triggering.

We exit the political portion of the collection with an excellent read.

Since we’re being catty, here’s some of the real stuff.

I am thankful my big cat Shade has no interest in working out with me. Unlike this puss.

Oh, heck, here’s a whole collection of kitties.

Halloween is next week, and I think we have a weiner. (On TikTok here.)

The New York Post was having a slow day, I guess?

Here’s a French bulldog on a skateboard, just because. (TikTok alternative link.)

Back to us humans, this woman had an important question. (Facebook link best viewed on mobile device or tablet.)

Speaking of surprising videos, check your angles, camerapeeps!

New fear unlocked.

In the can’t unsee department,

The coming holidays are time for parents and their grown children to bond and build mutual respect. Or not. Roll the tape.

Speaking of the holidays around the bend,

Adoorable!

I dunno, I kinda find him even more sexy now.

Halloween dad joke incoming!

Okay, okay, just one more.

Have a great weekend!

Jay