Just for Xeets and Giggles (2.10.24)

The week started out with the first official Democratic primary in the country. And insurgent contender Dean Phillips exceeded expectations. The bad kind, that is.

Phillips tried to put a brave face on a humiliating third place finish.

This take was on point…

… until Williamson dropped out this week. Welp.

In the post-mortem, it was clear that somehow all the talk about Black voters abandoning Biden that we hear ad nauseam from the network cable news channels didn’t translate into real votes for the other candidates.

And the NYT Pitchbot captured what things felt like in the relative silence by the media.

Meanwhile, over in crazyland, Moms for America announced its big star line-up for the big Summit & Gala.

Notice anything funny about this poster? Here, let’s zoom in.

Ms. Lindsey Graham as Patriot Barbie is just about perfect. No notes.

In the “I can’t believe you’re a senator you moronic racist” department, Tom Cotton grilled a witness from Singapore about whether he was a member of the Chinese Communist Party. He had to repeatedly remind Cotton that he was from Singapore. The satire that flowed was worth the cringe. This was my favorite. Watch the clip here.

Speaking of idiots, Peter Navarro was sentenced directly to jail while his appeal is pending. And while I prefer men with solid convictions, they’re not the kind the Trump Administration has.

The border and migration were the crisis du jour, but apparently not enough for the Republicans to actually want to address them with any kind of policy solutions, even their own.

House Speaker MAGA Mike Johnson claimed God told him he was like Moses leading the GOP. And, yeah.

Wait. If he’s Moses, does that make Trump the burning bush?

Johnson insists that any border bill has to build the wall that Trump didn’t get to finish. Because it worked so well, right?

Trump insists that there can be no solution to the border while Biden is president, because he needs to be able to hit Biden with the issue politically.

At one point, Trump’s derangement became both more evident and the stuff of ridicule when he put this out there:

Yes, it’s real, I checked.

The commentariat has prepared for years for such a moment. I present a few fine examples.

This one was all sound and fuhrer…

Later in the week, the House leadership decided it would move quickly to pass stand-alone funding for Israel and leave Ukraine out to dry, and to impeach DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, the first cabinet member to be impeached in 150 years. There was one problem: They didn’t count the votes correctly. Both bills failed.

The Mayorkas impeachment failed, at least for now, because a valiant Al Green (the Democratic congressmember from Texas, not the singer), who is recovering from abdominal surgery, Ubered from the hospital wearing a gown and cast the deciding “no” vote from his wheelchair.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) complained that Democrats had “hidden” Green in order to spring him on them unexpectedly.

Aaron Rupar with the zinger.

Sorry, Mike. Epic failure begets ridicule. This is the way.

And I love it when people bring other stuff back like this:

The incompetence and inexperience of Johnson was palpable, especially after he forgot to assign some other member to gavel the twin losses before the cameras.

People in the GOP actually started saying they missed having Kevin McCarthy and George Santos around.

People almost didn’t notice it, but there was an official primary in Nevada. This followed the unofficial caucus in Nevada, which is probably why no one noticed. Still, at least Nikki Haley can say she’s second to none!

This is gold star commentary:

Mike Pence got a one-page “no prosecution” letter for his mishandling of classified documents. Joe Biden got a political hit job from Special Counsel Robert Hur, who admitted there was scant evidence to support a willful retention charge but used his position to suggest mental deficiencies in the president.

Many were quick to point out Trump’s many gaffes and his increasingly apparent mental decline.

Better a few verbal hiccups than this insanity:

And on Fox, their much younger hosts have also been far from perfect in their own speaking. As in this clip.

Tucker Carlson went to Moscow, which appropriately set off alarm bells in the information war.

Or perhaps it was for this award?

The contempt for Carlson carrying Putin’s water is near universal on the left. And the derision is masterful.

For you Philomena fans…

The Supreme Court heard arguments about states not having the right to regulate things like elections.

And since it’s almost the Taylor Bowl, I found this appropriate.

I’ve been singing this song all week since the duet by Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs at the Grammys, so this hits the spot.

Elon Musk has pivoted away from inflation and toward immigrants, apparently forgetting he is one.

The cookie pile meme came back in a strong way in response.

Immigration isn’t just on the minds of Americans…

Speaking of the Brits…

Feed cleanse time! The theme today is awwwww. Here’s a baby goat bouncing on a couch.

And here’s a baby capybara. They are fast becoming one of my favs.

This cat is cool as a cucumber here.

And this little one knows how to ask.

In human foibles, I have been here.

This was a winging reply.

Amelia. Airport.

The new Apple Vision Pro came out, and just look at how people are using it already. (Video was disabled, but not before someone got the screenshot!)

I can’t stop giggling over this very religious guy’s experience.

And here’s a fun fact: The Red Hot Chili Peppers played a dorm party at my college before they were big. But not for this poor kid and his mom…

I leave you with a dad joke that’s hard to top.

Have a great weekend, and Happy Lunar New Year! May the Year of the Dragon be one of great joy and auspicious happenings for you and yours.