Just for Xeets and Giggles

There’s nothing like an ex-president’s mug shot to focus our national attention. Or to set the internet on fire, apparently. My feed filled up first with fake photoshopped versions, quickly disproven, because trolls can’t miss an opportunity to spread misinformation.

Close resemblance, but wrong tone of orange, clearly.

This one was a little better. H/t @anniefortruth on Twitter

But then again, that’s not really “strawberry blond.”

Meanwhile, while we waited, some epic accounts had some epic takes.

Serious Jabba the Hut vibes there, Donald.

As noted, we are up to four arrests, so…

He’ll need a sharp set to cut through those Trump Steaks!

Republicans accused Democrats of celebrating the ex-president’s legal misfortunes, but it was the Never Trumpers from the GOP who lapped it up the most.

There sheer number of defendants being processed drew commentary.

Of course, Trump’s wasn’t the only highly anticipated mug shot and arrest.

There was also Sidney Powell of Dr. Pepper drinking and crackpot conspiracy spreading fame:

This was an instant classic. I wish I’d thought of it first, it’s RIGHT. THERE.

And we are all still screaming from this:

Keeping with the movie references, but updated:

As we awaited the booking of P01135809, the other defendants collectively made for some great fodder.

And who is old enough to get this?

For the Succession fans out there…

This was my favorite take on when the Trump photo finally hit the presses. Click to watch:

The loser must have practiced this hard, trying to project a menacing, angry, vindictive look. But it just didn’t work for a lot of netizens.

After a two and half year mostly-forced hiatus, Trump’s campaign decided this it was Twitler’s golden moment to reappear on the platform now bafflingly calling itself X. But in typical MAGA form, the message was deeply ironic.

The aftershocks were rattlingly hilarious, and the comparisons inevitable. This one was *chef’s kiss*

The MAGA faithful began putting their own photos in the Fulton County mug shot frame. This led to some incredible work.

The Trump Campaign’s decision to lean into the mug shot reminded folks of something…

Fox struggled to put a positive spin on this. First place goes to Jesse Watters, who decided to go a little gay to demonstrate his fealty to 45, of whom he said, “He looks good and he looks hard.” As George Takei would say, “Oh myyy…” Watch Watters get wet here.

The other hilarious thing about Thursday night was Trump’s self-reported height and weight, which according to him was 6’ 3” and 215 pounds. Now, jokes about Trump’s weight aren’t that funny or interesting to me. But jokes about how he pathetically lies about his weight are another matter.

Stormy Daniels dropped some thunder and lightning.

Oh, and nice bookend here:

Other awful GOP things happened this week. I didn’t really watch them, but I almost wish I had for the comedy value alone. Here was Trump on Tucker, showing he’s still a stable genius. Click to watch. WTF is even happening here?

There apparently was a debate, too, among the people apparently running for Vice President. Here’s a recap:

Dan Rather with the kill shot.

The unreality of it all was astonishing.

As were the hypocrisy and cruelty.

Speaking of the automa-ron, I spotted this, too, on review of the highlights:

Watch the video of him trying to smile here:

And just to finish him off…

Pharma bro Vivek Ramasmarmy (sorry, did I spell that wrong?) thought he’d kick off the night with some outright plagiarism. Watch him steal here:

At one point, Ramaswamy claimed that climate change science was a “hoax,” and that probably secured him a lot more of the dumb vote from some of the hottest places in the U.S. Biden’s team was monitoring and trolling in real time.

In case you’re worried about Vivek’s rise in standing, Elon Musk Xeeted that Ramaswamy was “increasingly compelling”—so I figure that pretty much dooms him. Maybe he should do a big Twitter Spaces launch, too?

Speaking of Elon Musk, as we too often do, he tried to institute a change that no one, not even his right wing troll armies, wanted. His genius plan? Eliminating the Block feature.

MAGA actor James Woods laid into him over it, and Musk responded maturely per usual.

This captured my opinion on this well.

Speaking of words that end in rrhea, this resurfaced in the Internet Hall of Fame account.

Because the rule of law is on our minds, with powerful people acting extra-constitutionally, hearing directly from out Amendments was refreshing and to the point.

In other news, Russia apparently has experienced its last Wagnerian opera, after a suspicious plane crash took out the would-be mutineer.

The Russian polonium tea was scalding hot.

And in a reference to my favorite word these days: “defenestration.”

Not much love lost from the masses, TBH

This one came full circle fast. (Original credit: @DJFlopSweat on Twitter)

The Biden Administration moved to forgive billions in student debt, especially from people who have been paying in for decades without reducing their debt load. Republicans howled, but progressives shot back.

Speaking of judgmental conservatives…

Hurricane Hilary was on the minds of Angelinos.

Some took it in stride, California style, even after a temblor also simultaneously struck the LA region. #Hurriquake rivaled #Barbenheimer for synchronicity of the year.

Wildfires continued to produce destruction, evacuations and haze for days. But who is to blame?

The nihilism grew real.

Speaking of nihilism, Congress is coming back into session in September to try and pass a budget, and we have footage of the last time the GOP-controlled House attempted this. Watch it here:

Enough ugliness. Here’s a beautiful bird, with an explainer.

And here is the most amazing dog this week:

And your obligatory awwwwww moment here.

This video won simplest, time-saving hack of the week. It had it in the bag, you might say.

Ugh, so with this one, I have to roll you a bit.

And per usual, I close the week with an astronomically bad dad joke.

Whew! What a week. It may be hard to top. Like, ever. In the meantime, have a great weekend!

Jay

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