The Debt Ceiling Game: Imagine a Scene of “Chicken” on the Open Seas
Here’s a fantastical movie scene to help you better understand the debt ceiling crisis.
Imagine a game of chicken on the open seas, with Mitch McConnell at the helm of a shiny, sleek yacht holding his martini, while a beleaguered Chuck Schumer captains a big ferry ship loaded down with a whole lot of scared passengers. The ferry is chugging toward the harbor, hoping to get there in time to provide relief and shelter from a coming storm. Meanwhile, McConnell, who doesn’t want the ferry and its passengers to get there, has reset his yacht’s bearing to head straight at the ferry. The two ships are now on a collision course.
McConnell can end this dangerous game by turning his yacht. To do this, he simply has to use a code to remove a locked bar (close up reveals it’s made by the Filibuster company) that lies across the steering wheel. He really likes that lock because, once it’s in place, everyone else has to get out of the way of his yacht, but he can just shrug and say it’s the lock’s fault.
“What are you doing?” Schumer radios. “Change course immediately. Unlock the Filibuster bar and avoid a collision.”
“You avoid a collision,” McConnell radios back as his fellow yacht clubbers chuckle and drink more champagne. “I’m not going to help you get out of this.”
“But you can solve this right away, and it’s very hard for me to steer this big passenger ferry,” Schumer responds, somehow thinking reason is going to prevail here. Schumer’s clunky steering wheel (close up shows it’s made by the Reconciliation company) is completely outdated. It takes a long time for the rudder to catch and turn because the gears are badly stripped. So it requires all hands to cause the ferry to change direction, especially given its size.
Schumer radios again. “We have a situation, Mitch. If you force us to turn, we can’t get all these people to harbor before the storm.”
“That’s your problem,” McConnell says.
“With all due respect, we’ve got children and elderly people on board. Some of them need medicine. And there’s already high winds. Very dangerous. We need to get the ferry to harbor immediately.”
“Not our problem, Captain,” McConnell responds, telling his intern to tweet that. McConnell sighs. He really liked being captain before, especially kicking all those minorities and poor people off the ferry. Still, the new yacht’s a lot of fun to drive.
Zoom in closer on Schumer, fuming. “So let me get this straight. When you were captain, you used the ticket fares to buy that yacht for you and your friends, then you piled on board and aimed it straight at us. You keep the Filibuster bar locked over the wheel, and now you’re telling us to turn?”
“That’s right,” says McConnell.
“Own them libs!” cries someone’s drunk, red-faced cousin, whom the others pretend isn’t actually on their boat with them.
“You’re willing to put all these people at risk?” Schumer rages.
“Your ship now, Captain. If you want to get them to the harbor safely, you’d better turn soon.” McConnell turns off his radio.
Schumer’s eyes narrow. He can now see the yacht coming straight toward them. Tense music begins. This is reckless beyond imagining.
“Uh, maybe we start turning the ship, Captain,” says some guy named Joe Manchin whom no one remembers inviting to the bridge.
“Joe, you have the unlock code, right? Can you unlock the Filibuster bar and override their steering?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Joe says.
“Why the hell not?” Schumer asks with exasperation.
“That would make a lot of people angry. Including my friends. Some of them are on that yacht.”
“Mine, too,” squeaks a woman named Kyrsten, who is apparently now Joe’s ladyfriend. “They’re…new friends, though,” she admits, sitting down.
Schumer thinks hard. He pictures his aunt Nancy, who is tough as nails, just the way he wants to be. What would Nancy do?
“McConnell won’t risk the yacht,” Schumer concludes. “If we go down, so do they. And we made a promise to these people. It costs McConnell nothing but his pride to turn, but it will cost us lives if we do. In fact, if we turn now, they’ll know they can always do this to us. We’ll never get to harbor safely again.
“Don’t turn!” his bridge crew urges. “Don’t negotiate with terrorists!”
The movie music intensifies. Close up on Schumer.
“Steady as she goes,” Schumer says.
Don't forget the time factor. The more time they spend staring each other down (even it does result in raising the debit ceiling) is time not spent dealing with the Freedom to Vote Act. So FULL SPEED AHEAD!!
But, this isn't a movie and it's not a game. It's disgusting that McConnell and his cohorts, are even if office, let alone able to muck things up like this. Don't even get me started on Manchin and Sinema. Arrgh!