224 Comments
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

Walz may not be a native son, but he has lived in Minnesota long enough to personify "Minnesota Nice". He's a breath of fresh air in an ugly political climate.

Expand full comment

I call him "Minnesota Good."

Expand full comment

He's Midwestern good, too. He is reminding those states in the Midwest that are on the fence, like Ohio, what it once meant to be Midwestern good. Nebraska, too. Indiana seems lost, but I wouldn't be shocked if he pulled in Kansas.

Normally, vice presidential candidates don't have any impact on the race. I guess Palin did a little.

In this race, we have two of them who will. Vance, who is a laughing stock, and Coach Walz, who may finally help Dems remind flyover country that flyover country loves progressive answers to issues (according to itemized polls).

Expand full comment

As a native Midwesterner myself, whose home town is hosting the DNC, I can appreciate Walz and what he represents. I appreciate his coach wisdom in this campaign. https://officialharrispresident.com/products/george-karl-kamala-and-the-coach-shirt

Expand full comment

this isn't her website. please be clear about that.

Expand full comment

Whose is it?

Expand full comment

it belongs to ShirtGoat, who are not being honest when they use the word “official”

you can reach her shop via her website:

https://kamalaharris.com

I got to that via her instagram.

Expand full comment

Palin and Ryan had major impacts. While Palin was good at talking her views were so extreme that they sank McCain's chances because there were even Republicans who feared her being that close to the White House. Ryan was another pair cement shoes who didn't have much appeal and when things like his hypocrisy about wanting benefits to others that he got among other things he sank that ticket.

Walz on the other hand is quite inspiring because he's all the good guy feels without all of the bad guy baggage which makes him such a great fit because he knows how to draw fire and protect his team.

Expand full comment

I call him a mensch who believes in helping others as do his family members.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

As always you nailed it! As a Minnesota resident it is gratifying to see Gov Waltz marks a new standard for masculine behavior and thinking. If only ALL citizens saw him as we do!

Expand full comment

Walz is everything Trump and Vance claim to be but aren’t. He’s a down-to-earth, real, honest, strong, patriotic man who truly embodies the American Dream: grew up humbly, served his country, went to school on GI Bill, became a teacher, coach and community leader.

I can’t remember Trump EVER going into some small restaurant or truck stop to glad hand or pick up a snack. Does he ever even work the rope line at these tarmac events?

Walz has charisma and he gets what people feel. We're not going back!

I've gotten so many high-fives wearing this "Kamala removes stubborn orange stains" shirt and people asking where to get it 🤣

I got it from here 👇

https://libtees-2.creator-spring.com/listing/votek

Vote blue up and down the ticket.

Expand full comment

Trump goes into a restaurant and loudly announces he's paying for everyone's lunch. Then he ducks out without paying anything.

Expand full comment

Trump has stiffed restaurants in that manner many times! Furthermore, he STILL owes many cities and counties all over the country FROM HIS 2016 CAMPAIGN hundreds of thousands of $$ for security their law enforcement provided! The outlaw Orange Menace!!!

Expand full comment

🤣

Expand full comment

Said no one ever 🤣🤣.

Expand full comment

In a small restaurant that already has trouble with bills because of a landlord who has a sleazy lawyer writing sleazy leases, tons of insurance from insurance companies that create contracts that even some lawyers have trouble deciphering, and harassment from the mob. Trump's team researched the place so they know all of this. When Trump ducks out he gets into his limo and laughs his ass off.

Expand full comment

Today, on the way home in DC from an appointment, my spouse and I talked about how Kamala and Doug have, like the Obamas and Bidens been PART of DC - they shop, eat and play here. Tim and Gwen will too, finding their favorite non-spicy restaurant food and bookstores and other places like where to fish along the Potomac. THAT feels mighty good. We've suffered like other cities with huge numbers of vacant storefronts and restaurants. They will make it fun to look for 'sightings' which we in DC, w/o our own Fed representation, always long for. Just good people. (The last OOO - oval office occupant - before Biden ONLY went to his hotel which is now a) not his and b) in receivership and for auction.)

Expand full comment

That's a lovely thing to envision!

Expand full comment

Also don't forget that Walz taught English in China in 1989. AFAIK he never interacted with the CCP when he was 25. But GHW Bush had a special relationship with the Chinese government at that time.

Expand full comment

Unfortunately, they are now going after him for his repeated trips to China when he was teaching. My hubs is a news junkie and was watching Faux news last night and Watters was going on and on about this and suggesting that he was an agent of the CCP. Guess we'll see where they go with that.

Expand full comment

Yeah Gomer Comer and Gym Jordan are exercising their customary performative outrage. That's why I brought up GHWB's involvement with the Chinese Communist Party - he actually was involved with them, but that doesn't matter to these clowns.

The House GOP is going to have even less success smearing Walz than they had smearing the Bidens, i.e. "he committed impeachable offenses but we couldn't find any evidence but he still committed impeachable offenses and we have to go with that because we have no interest in actually governing or helping the American people - Hunter Biden's Laptop!!!."

(great band name, BTW)

Expand full comment

Another thing they're going to try to attack him on and it's going to be like dust hitting an industrial fan at full power.

Expand full comment

That's a great shirt.

Expand full comment

😉

Expand full comment

Robin, I think it is an old and a new. Good manners and civility have been a hallmark of a gentleman. Trump and his ilk just have never been gentlemen. We need models like Walz for our young men more than ever as he beats off the sickening behavior of the MAGAs as they took over the former Republican party.

Expand full comment

Trump believes manners, ethics/morals, and service are for suckers and losers.

Expand full comment

That is because Trump fits his beliefs to his behavior. It is easier that way. Well, he has already lost an election to Kamala and Joe and he is losing the campaign to Kamala and Tim, so we shall see if he really can show contrition as a loser. I doubt he can ever admit that to himself. We are looking at a White Supremacist violent revolution if he is not declared the winner and I hope that the military is prepared for them, including managing their own White supremacists within.

Expand full comment

Considering what a narcissistic psychopath he is I doubt he could ever admit or want to admit defeat.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

They don't know what to do with him because he is something seldom seen in politics. Tim Walz is the epitome of honesty, decency, kindness, inclusion, and bravery. He is also an incredibly effective and successful governor with an unrivaled record of passing laws that benefit and protect working class folks of every ethnicity and every gender. He's done this without ever using his office to enrich himself. If he can make it to the top in politics, there is real hope. Kamala chose wisely.

Expand full comment

They don't know how to handle Me. Smith Goes to Washington and thrived. He thrived because of his genuineness. That genuineness is kevlar and their kryptonite.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

Well Comer and his oversight committee - OOPS - I meant propaganda committee, is now investigating Gov. Walz's "engagement" with China. You know, when Walz's went there to teach?

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/gops-comer-launches-investigation-walzs-engagement-china/story?id=112896060

Yeah, they have nothing...

Expand full comment

Does Comer do anything other than investigate democrats?

Expand full comment

Hardly the first. Remember Trey "Draco Malfoy" Gowdy? Not to mention that jock itch from Ohio.

Whenever the GOP has the House of Rep and the Dems have the White House, the House goes bonkers on investigations. The only Republicans that seem to be on committees that come up with actual stuff seems to be Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger.

Expand full comment

Wait Comer is alive and still has a job?? I thought he packed it in.. he’s still knee deep in Repuklicants shit 💩

Expand full comment

Thank you Nina I had the guys face in my head but it’s the wrong face lol

Expand full comment

And the Kentucky dude is an asshat

Expand full comment

Not the former FBI director James COMEY but the Kentucky Congressman James COMER.

Expand full comment

Afraid he’s still there…..

Expand full comment

That's because he is Repuklicant 💩.

Expand full comment

Not that I know of.

Expand full comment

No, if you have one card you will play it. It doesn't matter who or what it is about. One trick pony bores the audience quickly.

Expand full comment

He's gone through multiple ponies that so the same trick because they either escape or die.

Expand full comment

No.

Expand full comment

no

Expand full comment

It's his #1 hobby other than sucking his thumb.

Expand full comment

Hoping the trademarks issued to Ivanka by China in "17, for voting machines, body bags and coffins, enter the chat again. Someone is watching to make sure those voting machines didn't get made, right?!

Expand full comment

There was a lot more going on with Ivanka that I would like knowing about. She went to Argentina for more trademark voting machines and Trump ordered a financial embargo. He ended it the day the Argentinians gave her the trademark. And now they have a Right Wing President. Is there a connection? Seeing as Trump projects his actions, are there corrupt voting machines (not Dominion or Smartmatic) floating around especially in a few Red States which showed their Senators as less than 20% approval but they won big anyway?

Expand full comment

Precisely, wondering if Venezuela may have contributed something for his consideration as well, after hearing that is his “exit plan”.

Expand full comment

I hope he stays there permanently.

Expand full comment

Wouldn't it be epic if some Red states have machines that only have election material in Spanish?

Expand full comment

They're probably in storage waiting to be used. I think it be funny if whenever someone uses everything is in Chinese and they have to back to the other machines. That would make for some epic headlines.

Expand full comment

Gollee, where do Dumb and Dumber find the time; they’re already investigating Kamala!

Expand full comment

Tweedledum and Tweedledumber 😛

Expand full comment

🦇💩🤪

Expand full comment

Spot on! 🤣🤣

Expand full comment

Instead of passing ANY legislation this session—useless as teats on a bull!!!

Expand full comment

Comer still has a job?

Expand full comment
Aug 19·edited Aug 19

His district is safely bright red, but hopefully soon will lose his title as Chairman.

Expand full comment

His district is gerrymandered all to heck - look up the Comer hook.

Expand full comment

Combover is so dumb he hasn’t a clue just how dumb he really is. Democrats on his committee play soccer with his head.

Expand full comment

The Dems on that committee are going to have a lot of fun with this. And you know they'll ask about Ivanka's deals and Trump's $17m deposit in a Chinese bank account after shuttling TPP and more...

Expand full comment

Also—Jared’s $2B BRIBE arranged during an official state visit with Saudis, and WHAT state secrets did he trade for that highly illegal side deal???

Expand full comment

Thank you, Janis!! I notice the MAGA mainstream media (NYT, WaPo, Fox, CNN, even NPR) is not talking about this. Although today the Republicans introduced a bill to impeach Pres. Biden because he "monetize(d) his office of public trust to enrich his family,” amounting to abuse of power." That is not a description of Pres. Biden. (The Republicans themselves admit they have no evidence, they just want to impeach him for it.) It IS a description of Donald Trump and Jared Kushner. The only recourse we have, I guess, is to talk it up on substack blogs. The MAGA media will probably take active steps to suppress that.

Expand full comment

I'm hoping that Jared Moskowitz, Jamie Raskin, and Lev Parnas have a field day with this.

Expand full comment

Did you ever notice how OOPS and GOPS are so similar?

Expand full comment

That slime Comer is a disgrace to his constituents whose he is SUPPOSED to be representing!!!

Expand full comment

Oh, but he is representin' the HELL outta his constituents. He's from one of those districts where every third house is dripping with the name and image of The Convict, where Margie Three-names is a saint, where libs are owned and voters are de-registered. Gerrymandering is a terrible thing...

Expand full comment

Biden is no longer a target. That landed with a thud, so Comer's moving on. Does anyone even pay attention to him?

Expand full comment

Yes, I do. I want to know what these fascists are doing.

Expand full comment

Just like the impeachment inquiry on Biden.

Expand full comment

Tim Walz has driven the MAGA set so barking mad that at Hillbilly rallies, his supporters are passing out "cum cups"...yes, medical-grade sample cups containing some milky, viscous substance resembling semen billed as "JD Vance Full Family Kits". Now, at this point The Onion has thrown in the towel, as NOTHING in the make-believe MAGA world could possibly top this stunt. In whose shattered mind can this possibly be thought of as a "winner"? Mocking the Walz family's IVF route to having children? Or, "fight white-people 'displacement' by mass impregnation of white women?With Hillbilly's sperm? Eeewwwwww!

Expand full comment

I think I’m gonna hurl.. JFC the MAGAt brigade are fucking weird MFKRS..

Expand full comment

These are same geniuses that believed in drinking bleach.

Expand full comment

That is so incredibly icky!! & While wearing depends & Kotex on their ears? These MAGATS are vulgar grotesques

Expand full comment

OK, Ick factor aside, there is a huge lack of credible journalism out there. Maybe The Onion should lean into the whole "onions have layers" concept and try doing aggressive investigative journalism with snark. Maybe work in partnership with John Oliver or Jon Stewart.

They can still print the weirdo news just by reporting accurately on MAGAs.

Expand full comment

There are actual pics that these Einsteins have posted on social media to “own the libs” when they keep proving that any rock has a higher IQ.

Expand full comment

They are sick people and need mass psychiatric help.

Expand full comment

They needed serious deprogramming out of the cult.

Expand full comment
author

Weird indeed.

Expand full comment

Those jizz cups are full of unborn babies. Those people should be arrested.

Expand full comment

After a few minutes to a few hours (how long sperm can live outside the body), they are "baby killers." Pro-life, my ass!

Expand full comment

Every sperm is sacred.

Expand full comment

Robin, so right. For these MAGA weirdos, it's not pregnant women wanting abortions that should be their punitive focus. It's men's billions of unused sperm, probably wasted in "unholy daily activities" that I'm sure are prohibited by the Old Testament (the sin of Onan??). These men are the ones that ought to be imprisoned--25 years to life each?--for killing unborn babies. Are we going to be logical or not?

Expand full comment

They are weird

Expand full comment

It's one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. Just when you thought they could't get any dumber or weirder.

Expand full comment

Vance really is weird. There's just no getting around that. Maybe the GOP could also pass around little miniature sofas? On keyrings, maybe. Souvenirs for their true believers. The AP interviewed a true believer, a 64-year-old Trump supporter who votes for Trump every election from 2016 on because the man, Robert Bridy, says Trump is a “working class guy like us.” Weird! Bridy would probably treasure a sofa key chain with Vance's face on it.

Expand full comment

I've heard about that sick joke. It's the latest swindle in a long line.

Expand full comment

🤮🤮🤮

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

In addition to those reasons, I also think the MAGA netizens are attacking Walz because the Democrats have done such an effective job defining and destroying Vance. Moreover, Dems attacks against Vance (not that they needed much help) have been very effective in discrediting the entire GOP ticket, and Walz personally invented that effort by popularizing "weird". If it can be done to them, they figure they can do it to the Democrats.

The problem for them is that Vance and Trump are so similar that Vance has actually undermined one of Trump's biggest strengths: the way the media and the public have normalized his creepy and insane behavior. Vance is a proxy for Trump who hasn't been normalized, and Dems have played that brilliantly. Walz and Harris are complementary but completely different in terms of background and experience, so attacks on Walz couldn't effectively discredit Harris even if they were landing.

Also, the MAGA rank-and-file focus on Walz has decoupled them from Trump. They may be triggered by Walz, but Trump is triggered by Harris (and her crowd size, and her magazine covers...) - I don't know that Trump even remembers Tim Walz exists most of the time. It prevents them from presenting a united front or a coherent message.

Expand full comment

Finallly, finally, finally the Dems are bring knives--not spoons--to magats' knife fights.

Expand full comment

They're bringing swords.

Expand full comment

Great point about how Trump’s awful behavior is normalized but Vance’s isn’t and how that comes back to undermine the whole ticket.

Expand full comment

Good!! Keep those MAGAt fucktards guessing and that means they’re behind the 8 ball.. trying to play catch up..

Expand full comment

May they never catch up.

Expand full comment

Amen Bill!!🙌🏽

Expand full comment

But how do you even hope to present a coherent message when your message is the last thing from coherent?

Expand full comment

Their message is whatever is the last thing that comes out of tRump's mouth. That changes from minute to minute.

Expand full comment

They're still working on getting their fingers free from that one puzzle.

Expand full comment

Well, gee, it's obvious, SPW. Their message is coherent because the MAGA mainstream media (NYT, WaPo, Fox, CNN, NPR) says it is! If the media says it, it must be true.

Expand full comment

Walz has proven to be a great shield and his genuineness has proven to be the perfect counter to their attacks. His calling them weird worked out so well that they have nothing to deflect it with. A great defense can be an even better offense.

Expand full comment

Hillbilly is doing a stellar, world-class job in sinking his own favorables...I mean, the Dems just stand back and watch Hillbilly spontaneously combust, doing all their work for them, and he just keeps spouting idiocies upon idiocies, well in tune with the head of the ticket. Slo-mo train wreck, lovely to watch...the "cum cups" are MAGA icing on the cake - so to speak.

Expand full comment

There are a LOT of older white males in this country with pedigrees similar to Walz's who are progressives. Count me as one of them.

Expand full comment

My husband too which is surprising! Small town factory worker. He also only eats white guy burritos, meat, cheese, no onion!😅

Expand full comment

I differ from your husband and Tim Walz in that I like food that is pretty spicy. Occasionally someone will want a taste of what I'm eating and say "Whoa!"

Expand full comment

“And really, don’t they have anything better to do than whine about one of their own making a joke about spice tolerance levels?”

They don’t. They really don’t. Their Sun God is a bad insult comic who moans and wails operatically all day long. It’s all they know how to do. It’s all they want to do. The alternative is working, and we know conservatives aren’t big on that.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

I like it that they both have that effortless ability to let crude insults just slip behind them. And yet, they both have an acute sense of what Dante called ‘giusto sdegno’ -righteous indignation where it comes to the casual cruelty of the MAGAts.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

Love the analogy of a defense coach. What a guy this Tim is and how sad that the right is having to use silly things that they think we care about.

And all the while DT has such GLARING horrible things he says about others.

Go Kamala! I’m so impressed each time I hear her speak for us.

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

Absolutely. It doesn’t bother him in the least. He usually turns it right back on them with some sort of joke.

In the VP race, I was beyond thrilled that she picked Gov. Walz as her running mate.

Expand full comment

Great write on our hopeful Candidate!

What’s so refreshing about Walz is his attitude towards moving our country forward again; let’s not make a big issue of the weird “other side” and move on folks!

Expand full comment

Right! We can sleep after we get Vice President Harris elected as President

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

Like Walz, there are many FINE men who would seemingly go for the MAGA group but DON'T. My husband is one - hunter, construction worker, self made man but one who ARDENTLY supports everyone's right to be themselves! Walz has given others like him a role model for NOT being MAGA!!! But please don't be complacent about our chances this election - VOTE BLUE!

Expand full comment
author

His cry of “None of your damn business” resonates so well with voters.

Expand full comment

It just goes to show you how you cannot define a person's political views by basicially "looking" at them.

Expand full comment

Thats the same thing that drove them crazy about Bill Clinton, being a Bubba liberal.

Expand full comment

Bubba boys😂

Expand full comment

😂Love and SO understand where you’re coming from🤦‍♀️🥳

Expand full comment

Tim Walz is *everything they are not!* And their jealousy is going to be their undoing.

Teflon Tim is a man’s man willing to take the bullet for Kamala so she can stay the course - that’s what a good backup person does, and because he’s having FUN 🤩 doing it! He’s so much smarter than they are.

Let MAGA eat themselves alive over this. May they crawl back underground and STFU 🤬

Expand full comment
Aug 19Liked by Jay Kuo

Thank you this post. I needed some positives in my life and this has helped. Well written and lots of fact checks.

Expand full comment