96 Comments

Either this was the funniest one yet, or I really, really needed this!

Expand full comment

I think we ALL needed it!

Expand full comment

I think they were funny, but it was harder for me to laugh this week. I'm gonna go to a dog park tomorrow morning and randomly pet dogs.

Expand full comment

Why not both?

Expand full comment

I have to keep reminding myself *NOT* to consume any sort of beverage while reading your Xeets and Giggles... not good for my computer screen. (Dimensia billboard especially!)

I marvel at the fact that Republicans lack the "Sense of Humor and Irony" genes. They get absolutely obliterated every time.

Expand full comment

MTG helped with the spelling.

Expand full comment

🤣😂🤣😂🤦🏻

Expand full comment

What dimension are we in? I feel like I fell through the looking glass in 2016 and haven’t found my way out yet.

Expand full comment

So Convicted Felon Trump "knows nothing about Project 2025" but disagrees with some of the "absolutely ridiculous" and "abysmal" things (that he knows nothing about.)

He also says he "has no idea who is behind it" and "has nothing to do with it" but wishes them "luck with anything they do" apparently including the ridiculous and abysmal things.

He's the biggest liar in the world but is really terrible at it.

Expand full comment

69% of the authors served in his failed administration.

Expand full comment

Not surprised at all.

Expand full comment

Look on the bright side - if trump is trying to repudiate Project 2025, that must mean that it is finally rising above the noise!

Expand full comment

He's not refuting it. He's trying to distance himself from it because it polls badly.

If people loved it and responded positively, he would have claimed to have written it.

Because people are horrified about it he will publicly disavow any knowledge of it while still supporting it.

Expand full comment

I really doubt he actually wrote that post - do you think he can spell abysmal?

Expand full comment

I thought the same thing.

Abysmal is not a word I would expect in his vocabulary.

Expand full comment

I remember when Ghislaine Maxwell was arrested, Trump said: "I wish her luck!" at the end of a statement.

Expand full comment

The concept of logic is completely lost on tRump and his Tramplers. And so, this xeet probably made sense to them. But yes, the trampler himself is a terrible liar - really, really bad at it.

Expand full comment

So. Many. Wins. Jay, this is one of your best. But the guy singing to his dogs? I need to meet and marry him. Yesterday.

Expand full comment

Oh, and here’s a cats in cars superstar. https://youtube.com/shorts/iYdVh8c75RM?si=g_TVZIATS6vZJygx

Expand full comment

I just want to meet and maybe marry the dogs. My cat and I need a chill dog in our lives rather than the psycho Sir I’m breathin’ I’m barkin’ one my housemate has.

Expand full comment

Hahaha. Yeah that’d be a big problem for my trio of beta cats.

Expand full comment

Agreed

Expand full comment

Oh, I gotta tell ya. This is so welcome. Thank you for doing all that work and offering it. So well done. Kudos.

Expand full comment

As a former Alzheimer's spouse/caregiver, misspelling dementia is, well, ... What can I say. I have mixed emotions, and feel for their condition, but we still don't want them picking a president, do we.

Expand full comment

Giggling over here for the first time since last Thursday!!! Thanks again Jay. I don’t have a Corgi but I think I might need one!

Expand full comment

I am hooked.

Expand full comment

Corgis are smart ... they make their humans look silly (just saying).

Expand full comment

Me too!

Expand full comment

THANK YOU! After last week THIS column and a bag of M&M’s aught to do it!! 😃

Expand full comment

Chocolate salted caramels

Expand full comment

I really really REALLY needed this this morning. Jay, If you are ever in Maine can I come meet you? You are saving my sanity daily.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much, Jay! I knew this would lift my spirits, and I was happy when popped up in my email. Also, I want to thank you for your calming words this past week. Believe me, I needed to read them. As I have said before, you, Heather Cox Richardson, and Dan Rather are keeping me sane.

Expand full comment

Read Joyce Vance, too.

Expand full comment

Tffg doesn't know Project 2025 the same way he didn't know the Proud Boys when he told them to "Stand by" and then invited them to the WH and to "come in" on J6 if Mike Pence didn't play along with the fake electors scheme, I believe that's called a conspiracy?

Expand full comment

The dogs with rhythm are the best! I played it twice.

Expand full comment

Wish I could say that the "Facts don't matter" cartoon didn't speak the most to me, but it does. Thanks for the actually funny stuff that follows. Particularly the Supreme Court ruling the president can sleep outside.

Expand full comment

Gosh, that was fun. Can we wake up yet?

Expand full comment

THE NEXT DEBATE

The Moderators:

Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger and Anthony Scaramucci

The Participants:

President Joseph Biden, Jr and America’s Disgrace Donald J Trump

THE FORMAT FOR THE DEBATE

Cognitive Examinations: Both participants will undergo a cognitive test. Prior to the day of the debate, the moderators will collaborate on the selection of a neuropsychologist to administer, and opine on the results of, the cognitive test. At the end of the debate, the neuropsychologist will read the results of each participant’s cognitive test.

Lie Detector Examinations: Both participants will undergo lie detector tests. (Both participants will be hooked up to lie detectors, and the displays on the lie detectors will be projected on to large monitors in the air above each participant’s head.) Prior to the debate, moderators will prepare a list of 20 statements each participant made during the previous debate. During the debate, each participant will read, verbatim, from the aforementioned list, the statements attributed to them. After each individual statement is read, the moderators will ask the participant, is the statement you just read a lie, YES or NO? Prior to the debate, moderators will prepare a second list of 10 statements participants made at any time during the past 8 years. During the debate, each participant will read, verbatim, each statement attributed to them. After each individual statement is read, the moderators will ask the participant, is the statement you just read a lie, YES or NO?

A few suggestions for statements America’s Disgrace Trump to be tested on:

 Did you have sex with the woman who is known as porn star Stormy Daniels?

 Did you consent to paying $130,000 to porn star Stormy Daniels to keep that information from the American Public?

 Did you have sex with Karen McDougal?

 Were you friends with sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein?

 Did you ever visit sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein’s private island?

 Have you ever committed fraud?

 Did you ever fraudulently inflate the value of your properties on financial statements?

 Did you say “I grab them by the pussy?”

 Regarding Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff Manor, New York, did you stiff, i.e., not pay in full, the architect you hired for that project?

 During a planning session for your reality TV show The Apprentice, did you ask “would America buy a n— winning?”

 During the time you and your father owned rental apartments in the New York area, did you discriminate against Blacks who applied to rent apartments?

 In the 1920’s, did your father participate in a Klu Klux Klan rally in the New York area?

 Were you aware that Russian Oligarchs and Russian Mafia paid hundreds of millions of dollars for condominium units at Trump condominium projects?

 Do you think that Black people are inferior to White people?

 Do you think that Hispanic people are inferior to White people?

 Do you know anything, at all, about Project 2025?

 Did you ever own or otherwise possess a copy of Hitler’s “Mein Kampf”?

 Marine General John Kelly said that you said, “but Hitler did some good things”. Did you say “Hitler did some good things”?

 Did you lose the 2020 Presidential election?

 Did you ever refer to deceased and injured military personnel as “suckers and losers”?

 Does Vladimir Putin have a video of you with hookers?

 Did Vladimir Putin attempt to help you win the presidential election of 2016?

 You told the American People that you would not take a salary when you served as President from Jan 2017 to Jan 2021. During the time you were President, did any company under the Trump Organization umbrella bill the U.S. government millions of dollars?

Expand full comment

Add a citizenship test from USCIS.

https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/document/questions-and-answers/100q.pdf

The first question is:

What is the supreme law of the land?

▪ the Constitution

Expand full comment

I wonder if Trump would pass a lie detector test, he’s so pathologically mendacious I think he actually believes his own lies.

Expand full comment

When they give these tests, they have a warmup with easy-peasy stuff to establish a baseline. I think his baseline would be so wacky, you could never, ever achieve a remotely trustworthy result.

Expand full comment

"Pathologically mendacious" is excellent, I must use that one!

Expand full comment

Haha,I thought it was better than “big fat liar”!

Expand full comment

OK which one this week? Alley cats. All those Black jobs. Rockin' out dogs. The immigrant wives. Methinks owl take Marilyn Monroe.

Expand full comment

The immigrant wives was the best.

Expand full comment