Not gonna lie, I teared up a little when I read this. You're an incredibly thoughtful person so I'm not surprised that's how you are as a parent. Riley is a very fortunate child.
Same! Just reminded me of reading to my son when he was little. He's a pre-teen and I was packing up some of his books this weekend. I'm keeping his favorites for hopefully his little ones someday. But this got me in the feels. And also made me smile with the sweetness.
Agreed. I am so glad that Jay is thinking about Riley seeing herself in books. Every child should, and more and more can. I have done workshops even on picking these books.
I have been developing children's book lists since I began teaching. My mom did the same with me when I was little. I had all the interracial family books that existed, and when I was a child that was a thing. Now, my child grew up with diverse books, and they are there.
I also developed a diverse books program in my school, and diverse books reading lists including one for high school students summer reading that I shared with my daughter's school.
As a former teacher I made sure that my child sees herself in books, but she does not see herself in books within her family, so I am working on a picture book about her and her best friend when they are little, and her best friend is Chinese. A little girl with parents whose skin colors are different with her name, because no one has my daughter's name in a book in the US.
A rule of thumb is start with the books that have positive characters who are well supported by family and friends that look like her. Their problems should be regular problems not serious with racism and sexism and all the other horrid -isms out there. Then, as she sees herself in normal contexts, you can add in ones where the characters are dealing with problems related to their identity, and then you can go on to books as well as books with other identities dealing with more serious problems. These books exist.
I am happy to share lists with people who are interested, just send a message to my chat.
I think in the Narnia books, there are more heroic girls than in the average kid’s book—and they are English, in wartime, so it’s a very different time/place/culture.
Girls already have to adapt to male characters as the “I”. I managed. She will too, because they are great stories.
But don’t give up looking for stories for her. I’m sure some are out there.
Great resource! Her name is in the list several times as illustrator and author, but I want to second the Grace Lin recommendations - as kids, my dad did a heroic job finding my sister and I books about girls, and Chinese girls in particular. Grace Lin has a great series about her childhood as a Taiwanese-American and a second series which is a little more fantastical (Where The Mountain Meets The Moon), which I still recommend to friends.
I had the same problem about sending the Chronicles of Narnia to my grandson. I recognize that CS Lewis unfairly depicts the 'bad guy' Turkomens of his books as eerily Muslim and that is wrong. My grandson is being raised somewhere between agnostic (by his parents) and Jewish (by the other side of his family) and not the Christian allegory of the Narnia tales. I still love the books. When I gave them to my son, I tried to voice this these concerns to him, but said 'read them anyway and talk to him about this'.
Interestingly, my daughter's very favorite book when she was little was a Chinese story called Tye May and the Magic Brush. She read it over and over and over again. It is now out of print (I believe) but I found a copy and sent it to her on her 38th birthday! https://www.mollybang.com/Pages/tyemay.html
Your children are blessed to have you as their Ba. So very blessed.
I wasn’t. My childhood was brutal in many ways and that cruelty still affects me years later. No matter how much work I’ve done to move through it all, it always will. Your strength, encouragement and unconditional love for your children mean everything.
Jay, Riley is beautiful and is exploring her world with such joy and curiosity! And in addition to all the empowering life insights you will share, your love of books and stories, perhaps you can also tell her she will one day tell her own stories too!
One of my former work colleagues has published some beautiful books for children about discovery and culture. Her statement on her website Pomelo Hat Press is "As a heritage Cantonese speaker from Canada, my dedication to multilingual storytelling comes from raising my own multilingual child. I believe in the boundless potential of every child, which is why I created the Discover with Jade Books series". Your daughter may really enjoy these some day!
I hope that future comes true for Riley and for my own grandchildren. Things have changed since I was young girl hiding behind furniture to read, so mom wouldn't make me go outside to play. There are more strong female characters (I especially love Terry Pratchett's Tiffany Aching books, if you want to stay with fantasy. All of his discworld books feature outsiders as heroes, so definitely look into those.) And many of the newer books in the fantasy genre have young women in the leading roles - and, in many cases, their race is only hinted at. Many more BIPOC and AAPI characters as well as many more LGTQ characters. Fantasy is such a wonderful genre for exploring and understanding our own world. The best fantasies are good vs. evil, hero vs. villain, love vs. hate. Wonderful lessons for us all.
There were two books my girls loved growing up. They were Tatterhood and The Maid of the North. Both were a collection of tales (admittedly from western cultures) where the girl was the hero. Keep looking, librarians can help you. I remember not liking history when I was young because we were only taught about the men, so I sympathize with you!
Not gonna lie, I teared up a little when I read this. You're an incredibly thoughtful person so I'm not surprised that's how you are as a parent. Riley is a very fortunate child.
I'm not sure where to post this but wanted Jay to see this YouTube short. So sweet. Thank you for sharing what you are learning Jay.
https://youtube.com/shorts/QRoH3E4YG3U?si=Nw-ENjxh3UGSnRGH
Me, too! It was just that sensitive and beautiful...
Same! Just reminded me of reading to my son when he was little. He's a pre-teen and I was packing up some of his books this weekend. I'm keeping his favorites for hopefully his little ones someday. But this got me in the feels. And also made me smile with the sweetness.
I love this. Your storm analogy is perfect. Your little one is just beautiful!
Agreed. I am so glad that Jay is thinking about Riley seeing herself in books. Every child should, and more and more can. I have done workshops even on picking these books.
I have been developing children's book lists since I began teaching. My mom did the same with me when I was little. I had all the interracial family books that existed, and when I was a child that was a thing. Now, my child grew up with diverse books, and they are there.
I also developed a diverse books program in my school, and diverse books reading lists including one for high school students summer reading that I shared with my daughter's school.
As a former teacher I made sure that my child sees herself in books, but she does not see herself in books within her family, so I am working on a picture book about her and her best friend when they are little, and her best friend is Chinese. A little girl with parents whose skin colors are different with her name, because no one has my daughter's name in a book in the US.
A rule of thumb is start with the books that have positive characters who are well supported by family and friends that look like her. Their problems should be regular problems not serious with racism and sexism and all the other horrid -isms out there. Then, as she sees herself in normal contexts, you can add in ones where the characters are dealing with problems related to their identity, and then you can go on to books as well as books with other identities dealing with more serious problems. These books exist.
I am happy to share lists with people who are interested, just send a message to my chat.
I think in the Narnia books, there are more heroic girls than in the average kid’s book—and they are English, in wartime, so it’s a very different time/place/culture.
Girls already have to adapt to male characters as the “I”. I managed. She will too, because they are great stories.
But don’t give up looking for stories for her. I’m sure some are out there.
Check out this great list of board books with AAPI characters: https://www.colorincolorado.org/booklist/board-books-and-more-asian-pacific-american-heritage
This is a wonderful resource, thank you!
Great resource! Her name is in the list several times as illustrator and author, but I want to second the Grace Lin recommendations - as kids, my dad did a heroic job finding my sister and I books about girls, and Chinese girls in particular. Grace Lin has a great series about her childhood as a Taiwanese-American and a second series which is a little more fantastical (Where The Mountain Meets The Moon), which I still recommend to friends.
Love Grace Lin's work! A couple more ideas:
-Anything by Allen Say, a Japanese American writer and illustrator: https://janmstore.com/collections/allen-say
-The World Snacks Series board books - my kids loved Yum Yum Dim Sum and Hola Jalapeno: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/D8H/world-snacks-series/
What a beautiful way to start my day, Jay. Thank you. THIS is what fabulous parenting looks like.
I absolutely, 100% agree!! And to Jay - Riley is a beautiful little girl!! And from the pix you shared, I'd say she's also a very happy one as well! 🩷
I had the same problem about sending the Chronicles of Narnia to my grandson. I recognize that CS Lewis unfairly depicts the 'bad guy' Turkomens of his books as eerily Muslim and that is wrong. My grandson is being raised somewhere between agnostic (by his parents) and Jewish (by the other side of his family) and not the Christian allegory of the Narnia tales. I still love the books. When I gave them to my son, I tried to voice this these concerns to him, but said 'read them anyway and talk to him about this'.
Interestingly, my daughter's very favorite book when she was little was a Chinese story called Tye May and the Magic Brush. She read it over and over and over again. It is now out of print (I believe) but I found a copy and sent it to her on her 38th birthday! https://www.mollybang.com/Pages/tyemay.html
Your children are blessed to have you as their Ba. So very blessed.
I wasn’t. My childhood was brutal in many ways and that cruelty still affects me years later. No matter how much work I’ve done to move through it all, it always will. Your strength, encouragement and unconditional love for your children mean everything.
I cried. I see you
May the beautiful vision be so.
PS We all have to work - to Stay Engaged - to make it so!!
Jay, Riley is beautiful and is exploring her world with such joy and curiosity! And in addition to all the empowering life insights you will share, your love of books and stories, perhaps you can also tell her she will one day tell her own stories too!
Riley is a very lucky little girl to have you for a father, Jay.
Beautiful. Thank you. I hope I live long enough to see that rainbow.
One of my former work colleagues has published some beautiful books for children about discovery and culture. Her statement on her website Pomelo Hat Press is "As a heritage Cantonese speaker from Canada, my dedication to multilingual storytelling comes from raising my own multilingual child. I believe in the boundless potential of every child, which is why I created the Discover with Jade Books series". Your daughter may really enjoy these some day!
I hope that future comes true for Riley and for my own grandchildren. Things have changed since I was young girl hiding behind furniture to read, so mom wouldn't make me go outside to play. There are more strong female characters (I especially love Terry Pratchett's Tiffany Aching books, if you want to stay with fantasy. All of his discworld books feature outsiders as heroes, so definitely look into those.) And many of the newer books in the fantasy genre have young women in the leading roles - and, in many cases, their race is only hinted at. Many more BIPOC and AAPI characters as well as many more LGTQ characters. Fantasy is such a wonderful genre for exploring and understanding our own world. The best fantasies are good vs. evil, hero vs. villain, love vs. hate. Wonderful lessons for us all.
Beautiful! One can hope! I’m rooting for this future!
There were two books my girls loved growing up. They were Tatterhood and The Maid of the North. Both were a collection of tales (admittedly from western cultures) where the girl was the hero. Keep looking, librarians can help you. I remember not liking history when I was young because we were only taught about the men, so I sympathize with you!
Love this so much, Jay! Thank you!